[redbandit]

sigh....this is the most depressed and rejected I've felt in a while. Me and my sister (i'll call her JM) have always been on different wavelengths, but this week she totally went off on me.
I understand that I do often cancel plans with her and other friends due to my health issues, I'm always sick, have a migraine, or sleep issues. I feel bad about it, but my friends and other family understand. She doesn't, even though she has more mild symptoms of depression and stuff.
She says I cancel "99%" of our plans which is a complete exaggeration. JM is off her meds right now, because she's trying to get pregnant. But if she's stressed, why wouldn't she want to talk to me? I'm always emotionally there for her, even if not in person. When she had a bad night and wanted to crash at my place, I offered to come pick her up. She'd never do that for me. I was feeling extremely desperate one night and called her, and she said she was too busy or tired to talk. She's never really been there for me when I needed her, and I'm the one that is putting up with her.
She also said we can't have an "adult conversation" because I always end up crying. Well excuse me for being emotional when someone hurts my feelings and berates me! I have bipolar disorder and BPD, so my mood swings are all over the place anyway. She's a nurse practitioner, you might think she'd understand a little. I feel depressed being around her, she's very critical and puts me and my mom down all the time
She literally said she "wouldn't put up with me if I wasn't her sister". to that I replied well don't bother then. I'm not wasting my time with someone who thinks its a chore to hang out with me! I have a lot more friends than her, so I think i'm probably a much more likeable person. She also told me a couple years ago that I was the worst bridemaid ever, despite me doing everything she asked and more (except missing one dress fitting). I don't know what to do, as we attend the same church, have some mutual friends, and will have to see each other sometime soon.
Truth is, I don't want to see or talk to her for a VERY long time, if ever.
She's not worth me even being upset about, but I can't help being hurt I'm very sensitive.
Sorry for the extra-long message, needed to rant, and ask if anyone has any advice??
Thanks

[chumchum]

I am so sorry you had a falling out with your sister. I have a similar situation with my younger sister too. I am the one who gets cancelled on and I always try to overlook it. I told her nicely a few months ago that it hurt me when she cancelled so much. Since then, I have not made many plans with her. I would just give your sister some space and let her issues work themselves out. We are here for you when you need us. I did this with my sister and we are getting along much better. I hope this works for you too.

[A Red Panda]

Is your sister the only person who knows about your own troubles that also deals with depression/anxiety?

Out of the people I've talked to since getting diagnosed... the most insensitive person was the friend who is on anti-depressants. It's pretty much ruined the friendship for me and I think of her as an aquaintance-friend -- I will no longer talk about anything important or serious with her. She seemed to view it in a way like "This is how I managed and I found it easy, so what's the big deal?" and completely discounted MY emotions and experiences.... if it was easy and mild for her, she thought it should be easy and mild for me.

Your sister is probably the same way - she can manage without her meds and doesn't need to cancel plans... and she likely thinks that if she can do it you should be able to as well.

Which really sucks.

[redbandit]

A lot of people in my family have depression/anxiety and they know and empathize with me since they struggle with the same stuff. Your friend sounds a lot like my sister. I once tried to get JM to share whatever was stressing her out. And she's like "what good does it do to talk about it? Doesnt change anything"
I think for most people in general, we like to talk about our problems! It helps just talking, you know, whether or not the other person can help.
Guess we all deal in our own way..

[kaliope]

Im one who basically disowned my family due to lack of support. my sister could say some very mean and nasty things to me and I did not need that in my life. so I just keep my distance. I don't make plans with her. I don't call her. if she calls me, I am cordial, I listen to her problems but I don't become emotionally involved. I just don't need the drama. I don't believe that blood is thicker than water. I have good friends to support me who understand what I am going thru. I don't need someone who is going to drag me down in my life. take care.

[redbandit]

I just don't know how to deal with this rejection. Now she's taking her house key back (I had an extra) I've been depressed and crying since last week. Idk why I let her hurt me like this, I can't help it