[sonnenschein]

I've struggling with a lot of life events and stress for almost a year now. This summer, most of my friends have been away for a stretch. But a month isn't a miracle, and some of the long-term effects of stress & co are still hitting me (digestive trouble, food intolerances, hair loss, scars and injuries from my dermatillomania). Superficially, I'm good at hiding the damage, even though I won't be able to simulate looking as relaxed as I should be.

But mentally, I often feel like I'm going to burst into tears and if someone I trust asks me how I'm doing, I'll probably just end up dumping everything on them. I've already burdened them a lot this entire year, and I don't want to always be negative Nancy. It's not that I can't talk to them, but I've been whining about my problems all year and have hardly done anything for them in return. (Sometimes, I think they're mostly still friends with me because they just haven't figured out an easy way to get rid of me)

I'm trying to find positive things that I can say, but while they've been away exploring Europe, I've been diagnosed with two medical conditions and a psychological disorder, been told that my shoulders, back and legs are permanently scarred, had to learn to live alone (without help/support), failed an important exam and worked a very stressful job. And I wasn't able to spend much time with friends because they were away, I couldn't exercise in the heat and I was too emotionally wasted to study much. And I'm not through with dealing with all my issues by far.

I mean, it could've been worse, but I'm still working on a positive spin here. How can I keep my mouth shut and listen to the stories of their exploits and how well they're doing without imploding?

[hamster-bamster]

Use humor and self-deprecation - they are some of the best tools available.

- How have you been doing?
- Oh, to be honest with you, a whole host of negative things have happened and I have been dealing with them with a varying degree of success. I can tell you later - right now, I am dying to hear of your European adventures. What was the funniest thing that happened to you this summer? I am all ears...

Then they will have a choice of returning to your issues after they have told you about their explorations, or not. The ball is in their court. If they do return to your issues, it would be based on their conscious choice, and you can then feel free to tell them the truth about your suffering. You won't be burdening them - they will have chosen to hear you out.