[allme]

So is it or not IYO?

Factor to consider - It would never be anything more than flirting online.

Thanks in advance!

[oil_and_water]

Something else to consider is that online is real life. I get the feeling a lot of people don't feel as bad about doing it because there is an emotional disconnect, you aren't face to face with the other person. Ask yourself, would you say in real life what you are saying online?

[allme]

Originally Posted by oil_and_water

Something else to consider is that online is real life. I get the feeling a lot of people don't feel as bad about doing it because there is an emotional disconnect, you aren't face to face with the other person. Ask yourself, would you say in real life what you are saying online?

Good point!

[oil_and_water]

Is it yourself you are worried about, or your significant other?

I don't think it is wrong at all, as long as it is just flirting and as long as it isn't with the same person all the time.

[lizardlady]

I admit I am a fuddy duddy and others might disagree with me. I believe if a person is in a committed relationship (attached) with another they should NOT be flirting with someone else in real life, on line or any other way.

[SilverNeurotic]

It's a grey area. Generally flirting is harmless...more like a friendly banter. It's when one or the other person raises it a level to a more serious flirting where the problems start.

Plus, everyone has a different idea of what constitutes flirting. Like, say I call someone of the opposite sex Hun or Sweetie...some people might consider it flirting. Some people would consider it flirting.

[seeker1950]

I'm not even sure if it is acceptable to flirt online period! So many variables...are you flirting with a single person...are you single yourself. If you ARE single, are you actually serious about finding a mate, or just toying with people? So many unanswered questions, and so many open endings. People can be anything and everything to others online. I, myself, have been involved, thru internet, with many men who purported themselves to be what they were not. Just a note...I no longer am NOT, nor have I been for several years now, but flirting online...I would say is dangerous.

[Odee]

I don't care if it is cheating or not, I wouldn't tolerate dating someone who flirted online with others.

[heartbroken921]

Yes it's cheating. If you are in a relationship you should not even flirt on line.

[tinyrabbit]

If you wouldn't do it in front of your partner, you shouldn't do it behind their back.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I admit I am a fuddy duddy and others might disagree with me. I believe if a person is in a committed relationship (attached) with another they should NOT be flirting with someone else in real life, on line or any other way.

Gues this means I'm a fuddy duddy too

[Raindropvampire]

Guess I'm a fuddy duddy three If I couldn't do it in front of my partner then I just shouldn't do it.

[allme]

Ok thanks so far...yes it's for me but don't judge, you don't know me

You are married. Yes, it is wrong.

[Hopelesspoppy]

It really depends. I have some male friends of long standing and flirtatious comments happen between us frequently, but they are usually along the line of "damn, they should make a movie about our crazy night in high school", or "you look so hot". There are "love yous" and "miss yous" as well. All on open forums- no lies, no deceits, no problems. When it becomes secretive, I would think it is a slippery slope. But that's just me.

[allme]

I personally think it's a grey area....so many factors involved as well as level of flirting and intentions.

[allme]

I don't think this is a clear yes or no so far....

some say there is nothing wrong. Thing is it's nothing you can easily answer, there are far too many factors and things to ask. On the one hand one might say that there is nothing wrong if there is no intention for anything to happen but with flirting, you never know when one may develop feelings for the other unintentionally. Emotional affairs are what many times happen in such situations where people were writing off flirting as something that can lead to more.

The problem occurs in that if in anything you're doing it's not something you would do in front of or with your SO aware of it. More than likely, it's something you do without their knowledge and you would NOT do it in front of them. This, in my mind, becomes deceitful and bordering on cheating because if it's really an ok behavior and way to interact with the opposite sex, then you'd have no problem with your partner seeing and having knowledge of it. This is something to ask yourself.

Also, even if you feel you are capable of keeping the interactions at the "flirtatious level", the potential to cross lines remains a very short leap from where you are. Thing is, you may or may not be capable of keeping it within borders.. what if this person really is a great guy/girl.. and you get to know them and pretty soon, well you see where I'm going... so if that potential exists, for me, I'd rather err on the side of caution.

Lastly a very important factor left out is what is your definition of flirting? it differs with individuals.. That would really have to be weighed in for a better answer

but in summary, it's just a pack of matches I choose not to toy with.

[tinyrabbit]

Personally, I'd rather flirt with my husband than other people. There are only so many hours in the day, why waste them on meaningless flirting?

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

Personally, I'd rather flirt with my husband than other people. There are only so many hours in the day, why waste them on meaningless flirting?

Really good point and good for you!

[allme]

If only we lived in a perfect world that would be great but we are human. I have been married for 14 yrs and only had sex with mu husband in that time. Seriously guys, a little flirting is that bad? I mean just playful stuff? Isn't it nice to be a little admired? Knowing it wont be anywhere at the same time though. I am not talking heavy s*** here, like naked pictured and dumb crap like that. I am just talking about a mutual appreciation and expressing a little desire?

Am I totally off key here? A part of me feels yes but a part of me says it's ok.

[High Treason]

Allme, I think it's actually kind of pointless to ask this question on a forum. Most people are stuck in their own little box of what they have been taught is "right" or "wrong" and will never think for themselves. Pretty much all the answers you'll get when posting a question to an online forum is people regurgitating whatever dogma they have been fed.

The fact is that if you're not hurting anyone, how it could it possibly be wrong? If your husband would be hurt to find out, take whatever steps are necessary to make sure he doesn't find out. As long as you do that, what could possibly be wrong with it?

If you and your s/o are not on the same page in the relationship, there is something to discuss. Whether or not it is a dealbreaker is up to you.

Personally, I would have a problem if my S/O was flirting with other women. anywhere. It tells me he is insecure and not very trustworthy. I wouldn't waste my time.

[allme]

Ok ok got ya both and appreciate both points of view. I am just conflicted....needed some points of view.

thanks!