[wpmelane]

So this is becoming an ongoing thing. Every time she has a day off with me its usually resulting in some form of a fight. Never seems to work right. Always getting angry and annoyed at me. She is fine and emails at work, tells me that she is always having conversations with person X and such. How am I getting snapped at and being the brunt of all this and yet controlled at work????? It doesnt seem right! She tells me It must be me because Im always causing her to get annoyed so stop doing things to annoy me is what she says. You know how bad that sounds to me when all I do is compromise and play to her needs and do things NOT to aggravate her.

This sucks

[wpmelane]

Anyone with experience dealing with this. Is this normal?

[MarlboroChick]

I have bipolar disorder. I treat my girlfriend badly sometimes, especially when im manic. But just being bipolar doesnt give her a freebie to treat you like ****. I do it too, but it isnt right. And my mother, whos also bipolar, does it to me and our family. So its normal. I get that you can only be understanding to a point.
Try talking to her about it in a calm moment. Or you can get with her (or get your own) therapist to swap ideas and have someone else say something to her about this. Is she on any meds?

[wpmelane]

Yes she is on meds, its been 5 weeks. She doesnt notice any difference.
So its normal during a high or low which seems like always because she snaps ALMOST daily to be friendly and social to others but then come to me and be the complete opposite??

I do come at her in a calm moment. I try all different approaches and nothing seems to work. Its like talking to an emotionless person all the time. Its pretty much " well im sorry what do you want from me". Its hard to stay positive, I feel so abused.

[wpmelane]

No other help?

[A Red Panda]

I'm bipolar. If I get snappy, I'm likely in a mixed episode. It is by far NOT all the time. And if I am snappish, then I am snappish pretty much the entire time - if I'm able to restrain it then I do. I tend to not restrain it as much in a home setting because I only have a limited set of energy.

How long do her episodes last? Because if she's just like this all the time, then it isn't the bipolar. If she's been in an episode since she started being cruel to you and is still in that episode, then it could be the episode. But if she's gone in and out of episodes and her baseline and she's like this to you all the time, then it isn't her bipolar and is just her behaving horribly.

[wpmelane]

Well she is like this almost daily, for over a year. She is always annoyed with me etc. Im starting to wonder how being bipolar can cause her to act like this almost daily, even off meds isnt there some sort of middle ground. I keep hearing over and over again that there is nothing she can do about it. It kills me a little inside each day.

[A Red Panda]

Unless she's been in a year-long episode..... then it isn't the bipolar.

Have you done much reading on bipolar disorder? If not, you should read about it. It is not a 24/7 thing. We go through a cycle - depression, baseline and (hypo)manias. Rapid cyclers will have 4 or more episodes in a year, non-rapid cyclers will have less than that. An episode CAN last a year or more, so I wouldn't be able to guess if that's the case for your gf or not.

Read about it. Go and talk to a councelor if you want. But your gf needs to stop being so rude to you and bipolar is NOT an excuse - she is still in charge of her own behaviour. The only time that that ever really changes is during a mania especially if there's psychosis. She DOES have control over her behaviour....

[wpmelane]

I have done reading on it. We have spoke to a therapist about how she is always angry etc. They dont make much of it. While in my head Im saying to myself "how can she be like this all the time" It doesnt make sense. She does have the typical signs of being bipolar, although how often this happens has me confused. She isnt in a year round Mania. She is like "im always like this, you know one of the symptoms is being annoyed and irritable" ALL THE TIME????? Im fighting a very stupid battle, I dont know if the therapist grasps the way she acts all the time.