Sharing past Relationship with boyfriend

Thank you. We met yesterday, talked at length and since my ex was his friend once he finds it awkward. This thought is a hurdle here.

Hamster-bamster is right

Look - in "natural" scenarios - by "natural" I do not mean that they are in any way better!!! - I mean...

...so imagine a house that is staged for sale

...now imagine a house that is being lived in...

In a house that is staged for sale things are all orderly and arranged to please the eye.

In a house that is being lived in, things are a little messy, at times, and are not arranged so much to please the eye but, to are arranged in a way that reflects how objects are being used.

So a dating site is like a staged house. And if you meet a person off a dating site, then, chances are, he won't know anybody from your natural social circle.

Meeting people "naturally" - meaning, in the course of ordinary living and not off "staged" dating sites - very often results in situations that are a little messy, such as the one you are describing, when men and women change partners while remaining within the same social circle. As a result, a current boyfriend might be or might have been a friend of an ex boyfriend. All of it is entirely normal and, to me, much more interesting in terms of complex relationship dynamics than the "staged" environment of dating sites. I would encourage you and your boyfriend to talk more about it, and, in particular, to explore why he feels awkward. What is underlying the awkward feeling? This question might have a number of reasonable answers - which one would your boyfriend give? It is worth asking.

I think it's very important to be able to be perfectly frank and honest about past history when you are going into a relationship. If you find yourself lying or hiding details from your partner then it's a sign that the relationship is not a secure relationship.

Did you say, "I was not intimate with my ex"? Talking about one's past in dribs and drabs is not lying about it. Relationships take a long time to develop and overdoing the who-I-use-to-be-before-you talk can easily overwhelm another person and the gradual growth of the new relationship. Just because the old relationship did not get enough sun and ended up moldy :-) does not mean you want to stick the new plant out in the sun with insufficient water?

If you did lie, said something like, "we only kissed and nothing more happened", any male should be suspicious of that, knowing themselves and follow that up, ". . .and he was okay with that?" or, "I don't understand how that could continue". That your boyfriend wanted to believe your "lie" and is now upset about the whole picture; it is your life, your past, it's over and done with but sounds like you all have communication issues of your own, now, worse than any other issues. Don't let him get away with a double standard; if he has been intimate, he has to consider it both ways and square it in his own mind. If he has not been intimate, it could be the age difference, maturity, and experiences are not insignificant.

I did ask him that what is it that perturbs him. He says he trusted me with whatever I said. Now that he knows I lied he has lost his trust in me. He visualizes me and my ex together, doing stuff. He has lost his faith in himself too. His love for me is no more the way it used to be before I told the complete truth. He says he is not able to accept this although he knows it not big deal. He is convinced that we won't be good together. What should I do? I have to resolve this issue. I am keeping my calm but it's not helping.

Yep the difference is due to maturity and experiences. It can be said, that this is his first relationship. He has been extremely caring and loving. This situation is due to the things I divulged which I did not plan to tell him initially.

Where are you hamster bamster? You gave up on this one, yea?