[fadedstar]

For some reason I seem to attract clingy needy people into my life. I have one friend who most of the time I can't even stand her company because shes ridiculously insecure about everything and glues herself to my (and other people's sides) and talks non-stop. Another friend is now laid off from work, bored, depressed and texting me 24/7. Both need professional help, neither will get it.

in the meantime I have my own problems with my psycho family, a pretty severe anxiety disorder and I can not take on these people's problems. i grew up in a position where i had to be the adult responsible one and I am tired of everyone expecting me to fix everything.

i started turning off my phone and ignoring messages but how do i get it across to these people that even if i want to take care of them (which I don't) I'm really not able to right now because i can barely keep my own life going?

[Travelinglady]

You might need to just say what you wrote here point blank--that you aren't going to be able to help them because of your own issues. And then if they still try to push, tell them specific limits, such as one phone call in a week or whatever you can deal with.

It's unfortunate that they aren't willing to seek professional help.

[Edda]

Originally Posted by fadedstar

For some reason I seem to attract clingy needy people into my life. I have one friend who most of the time I can't even stand her company because shes ridiculously insecure about everything and glues herself to my (and other people's sides) and talks non-stop. Another friend is now laid off from work, bored, depressed and texting me 24/7. Both need professional help, neither will get it.

in the meantime I have my own problems with my psycho family, a pretty severe anxiety disorder and I can not take on these people's problems. i grew up in a position where i had to be the adult responsible one and I am tired of everyone expecting me to fix everything.

i started turning off my phone and ignoring messages but how do i get it across to these people that even if i want to take care of them (which I don't) I'm really not able to right now because i can barely keep my own life going?

I agree with the previous poster. People rely on you for a reason. If you no longer wish to support them, just be honest about it. It is awful being cared about and then all of a sudden being ignored with no explanation whatsoever. I believe it is not fair on them.

[fadedstar]

Originally Posted by Edda

I agree with the previous poster. People rely on you for a reason. If you no longer wish to support them, just be honest about it. It is awful being cared about and then all of a sudden being ignored with no explanation whatsoever. I believe it is not fair on them.

I never asked for this and honestly can not handle it. I never said to the coworker who got laid off to text me 24/7 and then go off her meds without medical approval. I didn't tell the obsessively clingy friend to glue herself to my side and talk non-stop, and refuse to get her crippling anxiety treated. I did not sign up for nor on for this and I really resent the guilt trip here. I can not make someone else get help or follow medical advice. I will not and should not have to be the sole support for these individuals when I am unable to do so.

I asked for ideas to help setting reasonable limits so I don't feel constantly barragged, bombarded and ready to chuck my cell phone into the nearest body of water. I have made it very clear to both that they need professional help which I am not qualified to provide. Neither will do so now I need to protect MY sanity because neither meets the criteria for any kind of involuntary assessment.

I have made reasonable offers to all concerned to get help they need but I flag out refuse to have someone unwilling to get help drag me down with them.