[big billy]

Hi , my name is billy I'm 42 and I am new to this site. 1 month ago my girlfriend 33, is suddenly telling me she's interested in other men at work. suddenly after 7 yrs polyamory is what she thinks she might be, only after looking up relationship troubles. We had never heard of this non-monogamous relation's between more than one partner! involving both love and intimacy! She only new of this for three week's before she brought this to my attention , in a letter that she had given to me after we returned home from a date night. I'm opened minded and believe everyone has the right to be happy! as long as your own happiness isn't continuously hurting the one's around you ! your responsible of your own happiness. Me not being the jealous type, and her having serious issues with it. she's the only women in my life, besides family. the female friends i had before are not in my life anymore even though their was no sexual relationships. Always accusing me of , If someone else comes around you will leave me. Why did I stay around, I wasn't doing anything wrong, mid relationship I was tought, if your wanting to be with her it's your choice and jealousy you'll have to put up with. So I did, and know she is not jealous and want's me to embrace poly. Finding out by poking alittle she has several guy's she's interested in at work and had ones number. It hurt's so bad i love her so much and me being a father to who her children who are 7 and 9. ( their father past 2 months before i met her) even makes it harder. Is she poly our does she looking to get rid of me. I new she was bored, and had been discussing spicing thing's up. she always said tired , cramps , urinary track infection, hasn't showered , and my favorite is this all you keep me around 4. Need help, not knowing if these are signs that she is looking too find someone better or that she used me to get were she's at in life. wait that's not true those are misleading thoughts and are not her. by far the most honest person Ive been involved with, don't get me wrong she with held information to protect m, not cool at all. if she would of done some studying she would of know-en that poly means honesty and don't come to your partner after you found someone. also polyamous people are suppose to comfort and go slow, shes rushing me after one month and at one point said she needs a break. help I'm afraid of being alone and am willing to look into this for her just not at her pace. what do I say to make her understand I believe this can work? is she poly? does she believe she is ? thanks guys for listening, i hope soon to chat i could use someone to listen and maybe give me other out looks. Oh ya forgot to mention I'm extremely jealous know were as before i loved guy's checking her out whistling she could hang with who she wanted to

[oldlife_disrupted]

Don't live with this behavior, it will make you more and more unhappy. You can't really stop her it won't work and you'll go nuts trying.

[allme]

After 7 yrs this is a terrible thing IMO to hear. I don't believe this will be healthy or a happy situation for you. She is being terribly selfish to even bring this up after all this time although I do admire her honesty. I hope you don't give her the go ahead as it will only end in pain for you.

[lynn P.]

The only way this would work is if both of you were to happily agree to this and not be bothered at all with jealous feelings. it won't work if you feel cornered or are doing this to not be alone - this is a desperate move. Is she also willing to let you sleep with other women because its a 2 way street. Don't settle for less and I suggest ending it. If you think she is already having relations, you should practice safe sex for your safety. Sorry you're in this dilemma.