[LadyShadow]

I'm so frustrated with dating sites and with everyone. Someone messaged me on a dating site, so I was honest and said I wanted to take it slow and get to know him. This in turn translated into cutting off all communication and not answering my email.

I'm just so sick of this. Am I supposed to lie and say lets have sex? I am getting over a heartbreak and I just want a nice guy to talk to and get to know. Why is that so god dam hard?

I'm so sick of this.

I am so alone.

If I wasn't so empty I would cry.

[Poppy Princess]

I'm sorry, love *hugs* that's hard.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Poppy Princess

I'm sorry, love *hugs* that's hard.

Thanks, so much. Its hard, its really hurting right now.

[Poppy Princess]

I don't know if this will help but I've only had one relationship. I'd probably still be single if it wasn't for her.

[healingme4me]

Not a fan of the dating websites. Been there, done that, for a very, very short span. Talk a week for almost a handful, back in February and less than 24 hours on one other one.

I wouldn't let it get you down, so much, as I question, the validity of some that are actually on there, and the ability for in depth discussions of most others.

Have any hobbies or interests, where you could join a site, getting to know people, as you go along, without 'looking for someone' right now? And then, if there's a connection, proceed from there? Just a thought.

Hang in there

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Not a fan of the dating websites. Been there, done that, for a very, very short span. Talk a week for almost a handful, back in February and less than 24 hours on one other one.

I wouldn't let it get you down, so much, as I question, the validity of some that are actually on there, and the ability for in depth discussions of most others.

Have any hobbies or interests, where you could join a site, getting to know people, as you go along, without 'looking for someone' right now? And then, if there's a connection, proceed from there? Just a thought.

Hang in there

Thanks for this I appreciate it. It makes sense to join a Star Trek website because that's what I am most interested in.

And you're right I should give up on the dating websites, as a matter of fact the one I'm on will expire next month. I won't renew it.

I'm feeling better though, thanks for replying

[High Treason]

We don't have a lot of social cues to go on on the Internet so a lot gets read into simple things a lot of times. You can see lots of examples of that on this very forum. When you come out and say "I want to take it slow" it could very easily come off as "I'm a prude." It's not that you want to take it slow so much as that you came out and said it right away. the other person knows so little about you at this point that everything you say becomes a primary indicator to your personality. The fact that you brought up taking it slow in (presumably) your very first message to him indicates that you may be a waste of time. After all, he doesn't even know you yet. When one of the first things he knows about you is that you want to "take it slow" it seems like there may not be a lot of return on investment in this deal.

[Scotty204]

I personally have not used dating sites but I've known people who have used them and almost all say they are not very good. You are being honest yes and the men who "disappear" are obviously looking for a hookup so in a way you are weeding out the creeps. Why not join a discussion group online for something you're interested in and try to meet guys that way? I would avoid dating sites if I were you.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by High Treason

We don't have a lot of social cues to go on on the Internet so a lot gets read into simple things a lot of times. You can see lots of examples of that on this very forum. When you come out and say "I want to take it slow" it could very easily come off as "I'm a prude." It's not that you want to take it slow so much as that you came out and said it right away. the other person knows so little about you at this point that everything you say becomes a primary indicator to your personality. The fact that you brought up taking it slow in (presumably) your very first message to him indicates that you may be a waste of time. After all, he doesn't even know you yet. When one of the first things he knows about you is that you want to "take it slow" it seems like there may not be a lot of return on investment in this deal.

You make an excellent point! I didn't really think of it that way, I just thought I would just "put it out there". But you're right he doesn't know anything about me for me to just come out and say that.

That being said, if I were to ever try a dating site again, I will be more cautious about what I say and try and just flow with a conversation rather than being a "prude"

Thanks for your advice

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Scotty204

I personally have not used dating sites but I've known people who have used them and almost all say they are not very good. You are being honest yes and the men who "disappear" are obviously looking for a hookup so in a way you are weeding out the creeps. Why not join a discussion group online for something you're interested in and try to meet guys that way? I would avoid dating sites if I were you.

That's what I am going to try to do. Thanks for the advice. I have looked into some Star Trek discussion groups that I am going to join.

Yeah I think I am done with dating sites as of right now.