[atomicc]

I've been with my boyfriend for three years, we see eachother almost every day and have for almost the entire three years..there's no problems what so ever.
I'm graduating this December and have one of the only chances I've had since 2009 (graduating high school) to go to a school far away and start a new life there. I'm going to have to take a massive loan anyway to pay for grad school so that should hold me over in a place until I find a job there. The thing is...he just won't make that leap with me. He hates change. The military is paying for his school so it's not like he has to get any money if he comes with me. He can go to school anywhere. He can find a job. He just...won't.
He keeps telling me how it costs so much to move and it's not logical and it'll happen someday but I can't rush it.
I wish I could make him understand how painful it is to live here. To have to walk past the places my best friend and I spent our entire lives in...every single day I have to walk past the park where her life was taken.
I could make it happen for us if he was just open to anything different or risky.
I know people will say just go yourself but you'll have to understand my severe anxiety would not allow that. I have so much difficulty going places alone, I could never do it on my own. He's the one for me and I won't just up and leave him to go some where else when I can do the same degree here.
I just thought maybe I deserved a fresh start..
and now I'm crying over this like a big baby, I apologize for whining so much.

[healingme4me]

Sorry to hear, that he isn't willing to relocate, just yet. Perhaps, he is feeling a bit crushed and dismayed, himself, to consider that you want/need to leave where he is?

[oldlife_disrupted]

Don't apologize for whining, that's practically what this web site is for

Does he realize that the military is going to have him move all over the place at their whim once his schooling they're paying for is finished? Perhaps if you explained that you're willing to move for him at that point in his life and that you'd appreciate his help for this?

[atomicc]

Originally Posted by oldlife_disrupted

Don't apologize for whining, that's practically what this web site is for

Does he realize that the military is going to have him move all over the place at their whim once his schooling they're paying for is finished? Perhaps if you explained that you're willing to move for him at that point in his life and that you'd appreciate his help for this?

Well he's getting out of the military, he's been in for fives years and now he's free to pursue another career or go to school because of they're paying. He's free to go where ever he wants now...he's just not as...spontaneous as me.

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Sorry to hear, that he isn't willing to relocate, just yet. Perhaps, he is feeling a bit crushed and dismayed, himself, to consider that you want/need to leave where he is?

We've both lived here our whole lives and I know he wants to move, he's said it. Just getting him to take running start is the problem. He's pretty stubborn.

[Odee]

You're asking your BF to completely uproot his life for feelings that, although I understand they are very difficult, are your responsibility to cope with. I don't think it's right to pressure him into a major life decision because you need to dislocate yourself from your fears (not his.)

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by atomicc

I'm going to have to take a massive loan anyway to pay for grad school so that should hold me over in a place until I find a job there. The thing is...he just won't make that leap with me.\

He keeps telling me how it costs so much to move and it's not logical and it'll happen someday but I can't rush it.
.

Originally Posted by atomicc

.
We've both lived here our whole lives and I know he wants to move, he's said it. Just getting him to take running start is the problem. He's pretty stubborn.

The place you are asking to relocate to, is that also where your grad school is?

What makes that so illogical, to him?

[lido78]

Could you perhaps take a trip together to visit where you'd like to move...make it a pleasant and relaxing experience for him so both of you have some of your anxieties alleviated. Maybe he just needs to get used to the idea...