[wondering2014]

Hi everyone, I am new here and don't really know how this all works so forgive me if I am not doing this correctly

I have been seeing someone for about 6 weeks now (long distance) and last weekend he told me he is not sure I am the one - and he is having doubts - I have some doubts myself but haven't said anything because I just think it is too soon to know and I was going to take some more time to decide - I am just wondering do you agree? He came on so strong and i have been letting him take the lead - and he has up to this point - he has been awesome, but now??? he is talking to his counselor this evening and will decide if he wants to continue to see if things change or if we will no longer be together...just wondering what other people think of this situation - if you don't feel that "spark" as he calls it now are we doomed? (and yet he really likes me, there is definitely attraction there, he says we have a great connection and he loves spending time with me??? so do you think he is just scared??? ) or do you think we just need more time to find out? I am a bit freaked out today and could really use some advice - thanks

[gayleggg]

I think realtionships can be made through friendship first situations. However, if he is having doubts which stem from no sparks aspect, at this point in the realtionship, it could be a red flag especially if he has to run it by his counselor. Long distance realtionships are hard to mantain and 6 weeks is a short time to really know if a realationship will work or not. In other words, it's too early to be serious anyway. Good realtionships are built over time. Believe me I have been one to jump in quick and regret later.

[Skywoulf]

I think it is a combination of too soon, and cold feet (looking ahead for what might happen) as far as the "Spark" don't worry too much about that, because it is too soon to light the fire. I have known a lot of people in your situation and have seen it smoulder awhile then suddenly fireworks. I believe that is much better than a spark.

so put a good face on it, stay positive, and if it really is meant to be it will happen and you will enjoy the fireworks!

[tinyrabbit]

Blimey, six weeks and he's even entertaining the idea of the one? It is way too early to even be thinking about that! Sorry but there are some red flags here for me. Six weeks in you should just be enjoying getting to know each other, not playing mind games. Why are you ignoring your doubts?

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by wondering2014

...just wondering what other people think of this situation - if you don't feel that "spark" as he calls it now are we doomed? (and yet he really likes me, there is definitely attraction there, he says we have a great connection and he loves spending time with me??? ) or do you think we just need more time to find out? I am a bit freaked out today and could really use some advice - thanks

He sort of contradicts himself, right there. Definite attraction, but doesn't feel the 'spark'?

I'm a bit, confused, too.

Run it by his therapist? 6 weeks, would be about three dates, marker, sort of. If you subscribe to that, just an expression, of a point in a relationship, where one knows whether they want to get serious or not.

Sorry you are going through this. Keep us, posted, about what his decision does turn out to be, and his reasoning.

[SilverNeurotic]

Long distance relationships are very hard to maintain, especially if you didn't get to spend much time with one another prior to the long distance.