Not sure where to start.... ok. So my husband and I are having a hard time , pretty much since we got married really. 2 years back. He has been throwing the word Divorce around since a few months after been married. In the last few months I have gotten so angry and have thrown it back at him.

Last week sat we had another huge fight, with wedding rings off and moving into separate rooms. With lots of upset and yelling ect ect. I am sure you can picture it.

There has been lots of snide comments and no talking about what happened and whats going to happen. I also have developed a new thing. When I get that angry I black out. So I don't recall what was said, not much of it anyways. So that doesn't help me. I am always the one after to try and sooth things over and say sorry. This time and the time before I have not. I am waiting for him to care enough to come to me. This might be a long wait. If it ever happens.

Now, I feel things are pretty much over but still have this twang of ' it can work' and ' I am sure we can fix this' we just need.... ect ect. There has been no physical touch of any sort and every time I look at him I get mixed emotions of longing to have what was good back and then total disgust. I get so upset I end up vomiting.

He is leaving for a business trip in a few days and I don't know if he is coming back and where we stand and I don't want to be the one to talk about it.

My logic and my emotions are not one in the same and really lost as to what to do and how to feel and to not feel so lonely.

What say you?

[healingme4me]

I have found the loneliness in a lonely marriage, was much worse, than the loneliness of being single.

While he's away, on business travel, it would be a good time to write things out to discuss, upon his return.

[~Christina]

Sometimes in the middle of a marriage people forget to just be kind .. as in Please and thank you .. My husband and I hit a really horrible rough spot we had decided the marriage was over but due to financial reason neither of us could physically leave So we moved to seperate bedrooms. ...

We talked and decided to just be kind to each other. The same treatment we give other people and not even notice .. Thank you and please to the waitress or bank teller, coworker etc..

While were were on opposite sides of our home .. I sat and thought when was the last time I told him thank you for anything.. I realized I hadn't for so long I could not even remember.

Well after a week or so we realize we had both just stopped treating each other with respect kindness and love ..

Things did slowly get better and our marriage was saved and it's stronger than ever.