[hartbroken]

I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend and she wanted to know how serious I was ever to marry her. I know how big of a commitment marriage is. You take vows that you're better off not taking them or getting married if you don't mean what you say.

I'm bipolar and it's been flaring up lately. A lot of fluctuating feelings of fear and frustration clouding what I may say to her. I know your emotions can play tricks on your mind. I think I really love her, because I have a pull towards her, and I couldn't imagine doing life missing her and being without her. I've been dating her for 4-1/2 years and I don't mind sacrificing myself or my time for her.

Do you guys have the same problem with feelings? Do you find yourself making things too difficult, psyching yourself out of believing what you thought your believed or knew? I mean how do you distinguish between fluctuating feelings or true love for someone without letting mental illness play tricks on your mind?

[gayleggg]

You have been with her a long time. How does she handle you mood changes? Does she give you the space you need when the depression comes and you want to crawl in a hole? Those are the kind of things you have look at, can she deal with your mental illness?

You might want to go to counseling to see why this fear is clouding you feelings.

And yes, I have doubts about a lot of things I do, and talk myself out of what it is when I'm depressed. The one I have to watch is decisions I make when I'm manic. My mind can get me in a lot of trouble. But you are talking about someone you have been with for 4 1/2 years. Has the relationship been a good one so far. Good luck what ever you chose.

[hartbroken]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

You have been with her a long time. How does she handle you mood changes? Does she give you the space you need when the depression comes and you want to crawl in a hole? Those are the kind of things you have look at, can she deal with your mental illness?

You might want to go to counseling to see why this fear is clouding you feelings.

And yes, I have doubts about a lot of things I do, and talk myself out of what it is when I'm depressed. The one I have to watch is decisions I make when I'm manic. My mind can get me in a lot of trouble. But you are talking about someone you have been with for 4 1/2 years. Has the relationship been a good one so far. Good luck what ever you chose.

She handles my mood changes well. She has given me space, too. I think she can handle my mental illness ok. It's been a good one except for my drama I've brought into it from going back and forth a lot - because I'm troubled. But she has always offered that I can come back. So last night I made a commitment to her (I was a little manic BUT I was basing my commitment on the fact that we love each other - not on my mania) that I would put pursuing marriage one of my top priorities here on out.

I see counseling and we're not sure why yet I have dark clouds of fear over my decisions. I am also schizoaffective, so maybe my thought disorder plays a role in that.