[almakic88]

I've spoken about this a few times in my threads. I'm 25 and still live at home with my folks. Sometimes I get so angry about this that I feel like I'm in despair.

Is anyone else going through this? I am an adult, I feel like an adult, I know that I should be on my own now. All of my friends seem to be in a similar situation too. I've spoken to some people about it; my former therapist said I have an assertiveness-issue and I let my folks push me around. I guess it's true sometimes, but that's only because you can never win with my folks and sometimes I am sick of fighting for my rights and fighting over every single thing. I let them win battles but I am trying to win the war, so to speak.

Sometimes I experience this almost wild despair because I feel like I'm not in control of my own life, like I can't live my life the way I want to. *rebel yell*

It's unusual to me too how some people are like "so move out! just do it already! do it tomorrow!" as if money is not an issue at all. I can't move out without money. I'm in grad school right now...Probably won't have a legit job for another couple of years at least.

If anyone has any thoughts or words of encouragement...I am all ears.

~Alma

[happiedasiy]

Don't despair,
Life is long continue to think about your future.
You are in control of your life and doing better than most.
Sometimes Parents of young Adults have/should negotiate not allowing freedom how is one to learn?
But if you live with your Parents you still have to respect some rules like in life.
At 25 you should be able to come and go as you please or if its going to be a late night call and say I'm okay and see you tomorrow.
Being a male it must be difficult with the ladies but no sex in parents house.
My daughter is your age and there were/are rules, she is now married.
In this economy living on your own is not a option you have to make the best of things as they are in a peaceful way. You should assert yourself but from a calm place, it is hard for Mothers to let go of their children, no matter how old they are.
Parents who dangle the purse strings in order to keep control is wrong imo, if they kid/adult is doing well let them become the person they are meant to be, even if it is not what we want them to be.
Hugs Alma

[wisedude]

Umm. 25? OMG you must be a mummies boy.

MOVE OUT!!

Do you have a job? Be independent OMG.

Anger? Well as long as you don't take it out on others...

MOVE OUT! 25 with parents make you sound like some sort of dependent, emotional cripple!

[manwithnofriends]

^ you totally missed the point

Originally Posted by manwithnofriends

^ you totally missed the point

i'm getting rather annoyed with this guy's posts myself, too.

i just read 2 others that totally would have scared me off if i was the original poster

[wisedude]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

i'm getting rather annoyed with this guy's posts myself, too.

i just read 2 others that totally would have scared me off if i was the original poster

Ok I apologize to OP. I am being too insensitive / harsh. Had a few drinks you know, being a bit cynical.

The feedback is noted, I will try and be more supportive, and not cynical.

OP. I was kicked out of home at 13, and it was very had for most my life, so maybe I am a bit jealous you have a family home. I am sure if you really want to move out and be independent that you can take the steps and make it happen.

Can you not get a part-time job to support yourself? There are plenty of people that work their way through uni on their own. You'll never be truly independent if you have never left home, and you cant really complain about your parents when they are the ones completely supporting you and your lifestyle. Be thankful you have a roof over your head and loving enough parents to put up with you for that long

[Sadley]

I'm almost 24 and still live with my mom. She still does everything for me: laundry, cooking, cleaning, making my bed, shopping, everything. I am pathetic. I don't know how to change. I feel like I'm going to be alone forever. No one wants to be with a guy that lives with his mom. There is a huge stigma that goes along with it, as you can tell by wisedude's post. I wish I could do something about my situation, but I feel powerless to help myself. It makes me extremely depressed to know I've wasted all these years of my life because I can't truly enjoy them when I'm living with my mom. If I could move out and be on my own I think that that would greatly improve my mood, but everyone says "You're not ready". I can't stand it, what must I do to be ready? *Sigh* I hate my life and I'll never understand.

I'm 35 and live with my parents. I don't even have a car.

Originally Posted by wisedude

Ok I apologize to OP. I am being too insensitive / harsh. Had a few drinks you know, being a bit cynical.

The feedback is noted, I will try and be more supportive, and not cynical.

OP. I was kicked out of home at 13, and it was very had for most my life, so maybe I am a bit jealous you have a family home. I am sure if you really want to move out and be independent that you can take the steps and make it happen.

Maybe in the future you could take a moment before pressing the "submit" button and remember the context in which we are all interacting?
This is a site for mental health support. While it is nice to imagine we are all on a level playing field, all having the exact same capabilities, experiences, and opportunities... It's not so.

We all have different deficits and assets. The fact that a person is living at ho.e, at whatever age, says absolutely zero about their strength of character, intelligence, personal motivation, or even in a lot of cases their sense of personal responsibility or individual ability to be independent... sometimes things just happen.

When you are crazy- and often mental health issues are accompanied by a myriad of social, financial and other physical health issues- sometimes it just doesn't seem to stop raining once it starts…
So you may find yourself at 27, even, as I did, still living at home.
Or at 31, as I do, with an unfinished degree after working toward it for about a decade.

I'm not trying to be overly harsh myself, or really "stick it to you", but things happen.
It doesn't make me or you or anyone else a lesser person.

Just sayin'.