Filed For Divorce

So, my wife and I filed for divorce. It's been up and down, but it looks like she's going to be good about co-parenting, which was my biggest fear. At first, she was threatening to leave the country with my son, but I think she's come to the realization that it's best for our son to work things out, and see both his mom and dad.

So, just thought I would share.

I'm glad you and your wife were able to work things out with parenting. After all, the child shouldn't have to suffer because of something that isn't their fault, IMO. So, YAY! And welcome to PsychCentral!

<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

And .............................................................................. Good Luck with Your SON!


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Thanks everyone. The most important thing to me is my son, and luckily he's not even 2, so he will hopefully grow up with 2 parents, 2 step parents, who all adore him and he'll never know the fights he missed by us staying together.

FNCrazy - glad you guys are working it out the child is the most important thing hope you guys can continue to work together for the child

Please be gentle with yourself. It's very hard doing what you're doing. I know from breakups involving children. I know it's your time to grieve and you might want to take an upbeat by looking into holestic approaches. try the library on those types of healings.

Best wishes and Gods Speed,

Leilee

I too know how brave you are to face this. I think you are doing the right thing.
Pattty

i have been in this same exact situation, to protect your visitation/co parenting rights to your son have it stipulated in the divorce papers the days of the month you have exclusive access, or you could be in for a nasty shock, verbal agreements mean nothing in childrens court and the father is normally the person who loses out in these cases,

i made the mistake of trusting her when she said i could see my son whenever i wanted, in reality i get to see him 3-4 times a year if i am lucky

That must be really hard! But parents can get divorced even know it is said and often not thought about what will happen after marriage, but a parent should never divorce their kids!

I'm sorry that the was the best decision. Make sure that your agreements are all written down legally. It's one thing to agree she won't leave the country, it's another thing to have it written that she won't move farther than xx miles from the area.

Do good self care now, ok? Divorce is a failure of marriage, so you will have a tendency to feel like a failure. Don't allow yourself to wallow in all the "what-ifs" but look toward a changed life that's filled with new possibilities

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She's definitely calmed down considerably, and I no longer consider her a risk to leave with our son. We've filed the paperwork jointly, which includes a parenting plan that is workable for both of us.

We go down tomorrow to see the judge and waive the 90 day period.

The problem is, the apartment she wants isn't ready for another month! I can't stand the anxiety of hanging around her, so it's going to be a rough month. She's got a place to sleep, but nowhere to watch our son, so during her time with him she'll be at my house.

Oh well, could be worse.

Well, our divorce is final. We're going to work very hard to be friends and excellent co-parents. Our #1 goal is our son, and we're going to do everything possible to make the transition as easy on him as possible.

So, single life, in the last 45 minutes, okay. No women falling at my feet like I expected though



Anyway, definitely mixed emotions, more than I expected since i'm the one that finally decided enough was enough. I thought I would be happier. I guess I just have been trying so hard to be stoic that I haven't had a chance to grieve the loss of the life I thought I wanted.

Blah blah...

I think that though she is still around more than you had hoped at this point, it will be easier because you are both your own adults with your own lives now. Sounds to me like a good way to see if those goals you both set about parenting will work at all. Keep posting Jeff, it does a soul good.