[SirGoliath]

I'm so sad bc what I've been asking for is hapening except I don't want it! My bf & I have been fighting & I've asked him to move out several times. I changed my mind bc I really love him & don't want him to go back to Fl.
We've had problems with trust. He slept with another women & sent the pics to my fone bc I broke up with him the previous nite. Yes it was cruel, tacky, not a good decision & has affected me in the relationship. I didn;t trust him & would go back & forth from trusting him then going crazy when a pretty woman was in sight.

I know I need to work on myself & go to therapy. I've asked him to come with me but he says that he's ok & it's me that needs the therapy.

I love him enough to stop the madness & get help for not only us but myself & my son. Am I insecure for holding on to this relationship?

HELP!...please see my previous thread re: the relationship. He has always wanted to work it out but at the same time he accuses me of wanting other men which that is not the case!! I love & want him. No other man has mattered to me than him in 4 years!

[Lonely_90]

One person can only take so much, take it from a person who is constantly told to leave, yet I stay. Im not saying you cannot save your relationship, I am just saying he is only doing what you have told him to do over and over and over each time breaking him down more and more until he got the courage to do it.

If he says he dose not have a problem, anyone with enough hate in them to send you pictures like that has a problem, I agree you both need to get into therapy, and its a good idea to get your son in as well.

You can work this out if you really want to , but you have to want to change and not push him away when you are upset, you are damaging him as well as yourself and son.

best luck ( dont mean to sound harsh )

[SirGoliath]

I know & I could just kick myself for making him feel bad! I was angry bc he didn't want to come with me to look for the apt., he didn't sign the lease with me etc. I was angry at him bc he broke our bond. This apt meant everything to me bc it is our first & bc he was working as an otr truck driver & had been living in his truck for over 9 months! I was living with my mom at the time & had just moved from Brooklyn. There wasn't room for him there & my mom isn't too fond of him bc they have clashed in the past. I thought he would be more enthusiastic about our first apt!

I've forgiven him for the action even thought my mind & heart hasn't forgotten. I am going to therapy for my healing process & my son's sake.
My son is a happy kid & doesn't see us fight. I make sure that he doesn't see me cry or depressed. I just hold it in until his bedtime or go to the bathroom when he's awake.

Originally Posted by Lonely_90

One person can only take so much, take it from a person who is constantly told to leave, yet I stay. Im not saying you cannot save your relationship, I am just saying he is only doing what you have told him to do over and over and over each time breaking him down more and more until he got the courage to do it.

If he says he dose not have a problem, anyone with enough hate in them to send you pictures like that has a problem, I agree you both need to get into therapy, and its a good idea to get your son in as well.

You can work this out if you really want to , but you have to want to change and not push him away when you are upset, you are damaging him as well as yourself and son.

best luck ( dont mean to sound harsh )

[tinyrabbit]

I think you're confusing love with happiness.

[Lonely_90]

Some men just do not understand that things are important to us and it makes us angry, maybe his reservations about the apartment have an underlyin cause talk to him.

[happiedasiy]

Dear SirGolith,
These rollercoaster of emotions and feelings are part of grieving for a relationship that you wanted to last.
We are many here at pc to support you, although we can't take that internal pain away,
we are here/ we have been there/please, tell us what you need.

Start by practicing "no" in your mind. People like him will never accept full responsibility without a "but YOU" ect.... His emotional mind has been injured, this is why imo he needs professional help alone. You are more advanced emotionally bc You see and know where you need help to heal.

I am glad that you found pc!
There is a group "Sanctuary for Friends of Angels"
Its a place where you can lay down your burdens and rest for a while, you can find it on my page, check it out. There are no judgements and we are friends who help oneanother
There are other groups as well. Find what works for you.

You are a good soul and believe me or not there are many good men that will love you outloud, who are loyal, and will be the right fit for your son.

Keep in touch and try to have a relaxing weekend, go for a walk with your son.
Allow him to express how HE FEELs about things, so he doesn't hold it in.
Validate his feelings age appropriately. Dont make promises you can't keep, but reassure him things will be better. His love for you is pure and he wants his mom to be happy.
ME too!
Sincerely,
H.

[H3rmit]

You feel an emotion for him. And what does he feel for you, based on how he treats you? And what do you feel for yourself and your son? And when you add these up, what's the net result. Just because one emotion is very strong and pressing does not mean it is the most significant one. It might be the craziest one.

[SirGoliath]

How am I confusing love with happiness?

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

I think you're confusing love with happiness.