[kimmiemom]

So my bf still talks to the woman he became 'friends' with when I had the affair. This in itself is stressful to me. He has agreed to only talk to her twice a week, Mondays and Fridays, but this is the agreement we had a year ago along with he wouldn't see her without my knowledge. This all got blown out of the water a couple months ago when he fessed up to seeing her twice over the summer. No sex or anything, they just met and talked and yes, I do believe this. Then I hacked his phone records and found out they were talking almost every day, several times a day.
So now we're back to the promise of twice a week. I have to ask him daily because he won't be transparent with me and show phone records. Monday he told me they talked and the call was dropped and they didn't get back in touch, this was early in the day. So that night I asked if they spoke again and he said, yes she called him back and they only talked for a couple of minutes because she was just getting to work. For some reason, and I don't even know why, I asked if he deleted the call from his phone. There was a very long pause and he said yes. So I kind of flipped out again. I mean, why would he do that? It just showed me how deceitful he really can be. His point is that he could've also lied about talking to her and I never would've known, but he didn't.
So now the dilemna is that next Monday and Tuesday he is going down to the shore to close his mother's house for the winter. His 'friend' lives only 35 minutes away and had gone to his mother's house over the summer (that was one of the meetings). I can't go because I can't get off from work. I've been pleading with him to not even tell her he'll be down there, but I know he will. Today I asked him what he would say to her if she offered to come see him while he's there. He said she wouldn't do that because she works during the day now. My argument is that she has all night off and 35 minutes isn't that far... He says I don't have anything to worry about. So what does that mean? I don't have to worry about her showing up or I don't have to worry that she'll show up and something would happen?
I'm totally stressing out about this. I'm trying to not argue with him and stay positive, but it's so difficult. I do trust that he wouldn't initiate anything, but I'm not sure I trust her. Anyway, I'm flipping out and needed to vent. Thank you for listening.

There is no reason he would want to keep in regular touch with this woman - unless he was having a relationship with her. I think he needs to go "no contact" and you two concentrate on you as a couple.

[kaliope]

it sounds very much that he is at least having an emotional affair with this woman and he is already making efforts to cover this up from you. there is no reason to trust that he will not see her while he is there. whether they do anything or not, this relationship is far from innocent. you have reason to worry.

[Angel of Bedlam]

This is uhealthy and extremely unfair to you. If it were me, I'd extend an ultimatum: she is out of his life, or you are. And you need to be there when he ends all contact. considering the deceit. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk

[Truth in Ruin]

Not cool.

[middie]

I can only reiterate what has been said above......this is not innocent.....its and emotional relationship and will lead to further if allowed to continue......its you or her I'm afraid.....sending you a big hug....its so difficult I understand your pain......x