[shortandcute]

1) my son is 25 and is a bum, and doesn't need to be here anymore
2) my 17 year old daughter hates me and thinks I am a delusional nuisance that she has to tolerate
3) neither one of them has any respect for me
4) my daughter's whole world evolves around my sister (who has convinced my daughter that I am not to be taken seriously because I'm so 'irrational')
5) my daughter is graduating in a couple of months and doesn't really need me anymore
6) I simply cannot keep providing for them anymore
7) I am at the point where I need to be hospitalized

[unaluna]

6. Is good, but for 7., I would suggest maybe a cute little not too expensive studio apartment? I.e. just for yourself. If the kids are gonna complain, help them out by giving them nothing to complain about. You've done enough.

[Travelinglady]

After kids reach the age of 18, you are no longer legally responsible for meeting their needs. So, do what you want or don't want. If they are mean to you, then they can suffer the consequences in a way. (I hope that doesn't sound too harsh.) You do not have to provide them food and shelter.

If you are dealing with the empty nest, then there are ways to handle it, such as getting involved in other things, as your health allows. I do belong to a social club IRL and volunteer when I can. I also have a kitten I treat like a baby!

But if you do really feel like you need some hospitalization, then, by all means, dear one, talk to your doctor/therapist about it. Okay?

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by shortandcute

1) my son is 25 and is a bum, and doesn't need to be here anymore
2) my 17 year old daughter hates me and thinks I am a delusional nuisance that she has to tolerate
3) neither one of them has any respect for me
4) my daughter's whole world evolves around my sister (who has convinced my daughter that I am not to be taken seriously because I'm so 'irrational')
5) my daughter is graduating in a couple of months and doesn't really need me anymore
6) I simply cannot keep providing for them anymore
7) I am at the point where I need to be hospitalized

Being a parent is a life-long, and many times, unfulfilling job. I am so sorry that you're being treated so poorly and feel so awful. Your children will grow in time to become more appreciative. Is there a way to express how your feeling without being condemned for it? I think it's important for you to tell them your feelings, you're clearly struggling. Maybe try writing a letter to them? It'd give you a way to organize your thoughts, and then that way you'd be able to be heard without the chance for them to interject and turn the discussion into an attack. Hope this helps!

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Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam

Being a parent is a life-long, and many times, unfulfilling job. I am so sorry that you're being treated so poorly and feel so awful. Your children will grow in time to become more appreciative. Is there a way to express how your feeling without being condemned for it? I think it's important for you to tell them your feelings, you're clearly struggling. Maybe try writing a letter to them? It'd give you a way to organize your thoughts, and then that way you'd be able to be heard without the chance for them to interject and turn the discussion into an attack. Hope this helps!

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Thank you for sayingwhat you have about the lifelong thing. They will always need you, even though at this phase in their lives, they are rather selfish, which is pretty typical of the age group. I've been through bringing up 2 kids - now out of the house and with my other two, 11 and 13 I am not looking forward to the older teen to early 20s phases. I know how I was and I know how they will be. it's not you it's part of their becoming adults. Thing is, there are very few 17 yr olds out there that don't think they are a heck of a lot wiser than they really are.

I know this doesn't help but just remember it's not that you are not needed, it's the pulling away phase they are going through and it's natural and a good thing.

I like that little studio apartment thingy ... Excellent suggestion, hankster!

Create yourself a safe space and don't allow anyone to enter there but yourself!

Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT selfish, in fact it is the best thing you can do for your emotional health, safety & well-being right now!

Heck! ... It might even cancel out the need for hospitilization!

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by shortandcute

1) my son is 25 and is a bum, and doesn't need to be here anymore
2) my 17 year old daughter hates me and thinks I am a delusional nuisance that she has to tolerate
3) neither one of them has any respect for me
4) my daughter's whole world evolves around my sister (who has convinced my daughter that I am not to be taken seriously because I'm so 'irrational')
5) my daughter is graduating in a couple of months and doesn't really need me anymore
6) I simply cannot keep providing for them anymore
7) I am at the point where I need to be hospitalized

If you need to go to the hospital, go ahead and get with your doctor about it. Don't delay if it is bad.

As for your children, I think they are old enough to have a sit down chat with them about what they are going to do with their life as you can't provide any more. Then you and your kitten can have some peace and quiet.

As tough as it is, sometimes that thing about change your playground & change your friends SO applies to family too!

I had to kick mine to the curb 20 years ago, and had I not, I wouldn't be here today!

I've found that people who are not conducive to my physical and emotional well-being simply don't deserve to take up space in my life anymore.

Again, it's not easy (especially when it comes to family), but it is doable!