[Phoobear]

How do you fix the unfixable. His is my one and only. I am trying so hard but i am going deeper into the black hole. I am hurting him so much

[healingme4me]

My grandmother gave me a piece of advice, on parenting, that I feel applies. This was back, when my youngest, was a toddler, and I mentioned, I needed to go rescue him, from a meltdown. She said, 'F, you've got to just let him, feel his emotions. If that means, having a meltdown, you've got to just let him.'

It came to me, at a time, when I was hoping, for a change, in my marriage. I'd just started counseling, for the first time, in a decade, and was struggling in a support group to understand the rhymes and reasons I was dealing with his highly emotional outbursts. I was doing, a lot of self-work, on top of trying to understand him. Felt, at that point in my life, wow, if only he'd see the light, there is a path to recovery, there is a path to improving himself. If only, I could help him, see what I was learning, things would be better.

It was a light bulb moment for me, what she said, about my son. It was timed perfectly, upon reflection.

It's not up to any of us, to waltz into another's emotions, to help them get better. It's not my responsibility. I am not my 'brothers keeper.' ((which was a lot of what was being said, in that support group))

We must, allow, others to feel their feelings. Even, if that means, they have a meltdown.

[Travelinglady]

If he can't be fixed, then I suggest you see a counselor and talk about the situation. You need to get yourself emotionally healthy again. I am assuming he wouldn't want to go with you, but you could see if he would.

[Phoobear]

I am just so so broken

[gayleggg]

(((((((((Phoobear))))))))

Originally Posted by Phoobear

How do you fix the unfixable. His is my one and only. I am trying so hard but i am going deeper into the black hole. I am hurting him so much

I'm not going to guess here. What is it that needs fixing? If it's him, no you can't fix him. No one can fix another person. You can only fix, change yourself. if it's you, then I'm here to tell you it is possible. You can fix things and change!