[hurtingtheoneilove]

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We ARE best friends and have always gotten along great. He recently found some texts on my phone from my ex. I had texted my ex back and betrayed him. I had been texting my ex back from time to time for the last 2 years. It was never a sexual or cheating intention in my mind but he feels that no matter what it was cheating. Which i understand. Anytime i ask him what he thinks about our future of possibly getting back together he doesn't want to think about it because he gets upset thinking about what i did to him. He has trust issues stemming from his bad childhood. He says he doesn't think he could ever trust me again but i know in my heart we will be okay. I guess I'm just asking if you were in my shoes or his shoes what would you do. We have been through thick and thin together and we do still love each other he is just scared he won't be able to be in a healthy relationship with me again because of the trust factor. It has only been a week and a half since this has happened but this is the longest we have gone without talking about our future or talking about our issues. We live together and still laugh, play, and hang out like best friends.

[gayleggg]

Sounds like if he is still there you may have a chance. But trust has to be earned. You will have to work very hard to prove yourself to him. It can be done. My husband forgave me after I had an affair, but it takes a special man to do that.

[healingme4me]

Well, could have been much worse, than texting. I can appreciate, his being hurt by this. Need to answer, to yourself, why, a friendship, with your ex, was an important part of your life. What needs were being met there? That weren't being met, by your bf?

Not 'quite' cheating, per se; but it's certainly bordering on a fine line, of trust, in your relationship. Plus, took discovery, to find out about this friendship. As in, there was a certain lack of honesty.

Moving forward, will take more than words and apologies. Some reconnecting, with one another, could help. How about relationship counseling?

[hurtingtheoneilove]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Well, could have been much worse, than texting. I can appreciate, his being hurt by this. Need to answer, to yourself, why, a friendship, with your ex, was an important part of your life. What needs were being met there? That weren't being met, by your bf?

Not 'quite' cheating, per se; but it's certainly bordering on a fine line, of trust, in your relationship. Plus, took discovery, to find out about this friendship. As in, there was a certain lack of honesty.

Moving forward, will take more than words and apologies. Some reconnecting, with one another, could help. How about relationship counseling?

My ex is very expressive of his feelings. He was always there to give me validation that i was wanted and desired. I only wanted to be desired by my boyfriend but he is not the type of man that goes and talks about his feelings all the time and honestly neither am i. I was just expecting him to voice how i already knew how he felt. I have stopped talking to my ex and told my ex that i really care about and love my boyfriend. My boyfriend keeps repeating that he doesn't want to think about it because he doesn't know how to feel besides betrayed and upset. Last night we had fun together talking about all the crazy things that have happened to us either together or not lol. It just reminded me how much i love him and why we are meant to be together. I feel in my heart that we are going to make it through this. I just don't know how valid it is.