Does technology hurt or help in dating today?

So with all the dating sites, smartphones, facebook, etc...
Shouldnt dating be easier???

I remember in the 90s I had to write a girls home
number on a piece of paper, call her parents house,
Hope her dad doesnt answer, wonder if and when
she is home, then plan a date but no way to be in
Touch in case one of us is running late. Or to avoid
dad you had to use payphones and beepers. Haha.
people in class actually passed paper notes to each other..
even in 1999!

skip to today.....
I barely have had a real human-level conversation
with a girl except for texting and email. I love
Meeting new girls but feel like not much convo opportunity.

In the past when I agreed to sex with a girl,
It either opened alot of emotional insecurities
afterwards on both ends, or there were erection
and performance issues. And with some, sleeping
Together overnight was bad idea... I couldnt get
A wake of sleep all night! Before sex no real
Problems yet afterwards the breakups occur
It seems...

Yet with certain adult films I have no erection issue,
But quite opppsite.

So now Im hesitant to have sex.

But I see couples around town each sunday.
So how does one make a healthy relationship
work nowadays? Obviously there are couples
And people getting married. So some people
Make it work somehow right?

Roger,32
Northeast US

I feel like I spend 10hrs a day at work to
Make money, I go home and do a second job
From home to try and make More Money, and rest
of the time I worry about Money and how much
things will cost.

I cannot even imagine the cost of starting a family..
how do people today do it????!

I am still paying student loans, car loan, and
Living expenses. I dont expect the debt to
Go away anytime soon. And at around 35k
gross income.....how do I even make relationships
work when even going to a restaurant is sooo
Costly! I am tired of coming off cheap but I
really am squeezed now. And its not attactive
To tell a girl I still live with roommates. Hard
To even have a girl over because they will hear
Us!

So How do all these couples I see making it
Work for them? I dont want to wait til Im 40
To have that healthy relarionship!


Roger, 32
Northeast US

we love eachother...when times
are hard and moneys short we dont turn on eachother we get through it togethor...we make the most of what we have, if we go through a rough patch we try to remember the good times, the laughs wev shared and it always helps to keep those memorys alive, a lot of couples forget about eachother and go about daily life without thinking about making eachother smile or laugh and thats when the happy memorys bcome a distant memory! To fully appericiate your partner i believe you have to be scared of losing them, bcos when ur scared to lose something u make sure u look after it and make sure u keep it safe!!!

thats how we make it work...its hard at times but we always come out the other side.

and to add our favourite memories are of when we didnt have our own place and we would have to be quiet and all we had was a room and a single bed to share....bcos we look back and see how far we've come, that room we had turned into a house we share...and that single bed turned into out marital bed! sometimes i think i wud pay anything to go back to those days just once more bcos they were truley my best times :-)

Welcome back albertanthony/anthony81...

I see you're still asking the same questions, I hope you find the right answers this time around.

Excuse me???

My name is roger, not anthony.
And this is a serious topic.
Please do not confuse me with other
members thanks

I don't think technology really matters when it comes to love and relationships, it works for some people and it's terribly dangerous for others.

I think having a healthy relationship is about two people who share the same beliefs and have the same ideas for what they want in their lives. Doesn't really matter how they meet. Internet, school, church, whatever.

I want to say hurt in dating but I can not say it hurt in love.

NO technology has the power over us to ruin or make dating work. That's up to the user of the technology to be smart enough to do what works for them. no one can say blanketly that technology is detrimental to relationships because it has no control, it just is. What YOU do with it matters. If you let it take over your life and cease to function normally in society it's not the technology ruining your life, it's you, becoming over reliant on technology and letting that create a problem.

People today seem to want an excuse and a reason for every challenge they've failed to succeed in.

I'm coming to the conclusion that it totally hurts dating- too much confusion with the texting- too many game playing , it all gets convoluted and then you don't know where you're at-
it's easy for playa types to play you, and hearts to get broken0 I think it sucks.