How do I learn to trust men again?

So far, all of my thoughts posted here have been regarding this topic, and that's something I'd really like to stop. I'd like to be able to help others instead of being stuck in this void. But, it seems like I have no answers to give anymore and only more questions, always more questions.

Basically, I just want to know what the title says. I'm terrible with trusting people lately in general, even my own cousin whom I've come to know and tried to feel love for, something else I find hard. I haven't had much of a family before this, at least not a functioning, healthy one, and I want to let people in. I guess I still want to be happy with a guy, I don't know anymore. When I watch anime filled with beautiful romances, I feel so empty inside. Yet, I also have a strong sense of self that's growing stronger. My aunt keeps telling me that I don't own my thoughts, God does, that God gives them to me, and that we're absolutely nothing, just empty vessels, without Him. I've had a firm Christian belief all my life, but it's fading now. The more she says that, the more I want to prove that I'm self sufficient and I can make it on my own, that I make progress by myself, with my own power, and that I'm not worthless. She also tells me certain things about men that sound like an excuse for them, like I should just take the things that annoy me, that I don't agree with, that belittle me and women in general, such as the immature teasing and bringing up of old stereotypes of women. That is making me just not want to bother with men at all, not talk to them, not let them anywhere near me. I'm really getting sick of how men can talk about women all they want, but when a woman calls them out, we're wrong and supposed to just "deal with it".

I need some good examples of men in my life if I'm ever to overcome this, and I've had a few guy friends who break my image of men as a whole completely. But, I'm still so afraid and confused and upset. I don't want to be bossed around by my husband, I want things to be equal, I want my ideals of how to raise a child to be respected. Sometimes, I even feel like I want to dominate my husband to make up for all the shame for being a woman I've felt.n I know that's not right, and I want to get rid of that notion too, but it's very hard. I just don't know how this world is because I haven't been in it all that much and all I can go by is what people tell me. So, if anyone has experiences with a good man who isn't controlling, where the relationship is equal, where the woman is never belittled or forced into a small role where her thoughts and opinions and wants don't matter, even where the man waits for her sexual readiness instead of insisting on his, it would help me a lot.