[Boooie]

I am upset with my sister about some things she said in the past regarding my significant other. My sister never asked about my significant other, doesn't know him one bit, yet said "He has nothing to offer you." Another time she said "You expect me to accept him as family?!" When I mention my significant other, she has no comment. There are several more negative comments, but let's leave it at that. My sister didn't even know my significant other yet she said nothing but negative things or no comment. My significant other died and left me life insurance 2 years ago, but still nothing nice to say. However, recently I had a conversation with her and although she no longer thinks my significant other was taking advantage of me (and she had no evidence of anything because she didn't know him), she now says that my significant other's brother was taking advantage of both me and my significant other because me and my significant other moved into his brother's house and was paying rent. "You paid rent, didn't you?" my sister said. I say why shouldn't we pay rent if we lived at his brother's house? When I mentioned my sister's unreasonable assumption, she said "Forgive me for caring." But I don't think it's being supportive when you assume negative things without any knowledge. In the same way that my sister thinks my significant other's brother was taking advantage of me and my significant other because we paid rent for living at his brother's house, I think my sister thought unjustly that my significant other was taking advantage of me without justification, meanwhile insulting my significant other. I have tried talking to my sister about this to no avail or explanation, only leads to argument.

Would it be a problem for you to tell her the topic is closed? My first response would be to try and get her to tell you why she is behaving this way but it sounds like you have done this already. Unless there is a specific reason to talk about it it would seem to me the best option is to close the convo until she is ready to explain herself. I am assuming you do not want to damage the relationship otherwise.

[innocentjoy]

I would be very upset in this situation as well. It sounds as though she is looking for any reason to be upset. It's soo frustrating when someone decides to be upset 'on your behalf' because it's never really on your behalf.
I agree that perhaps this is one topic that is too triggering for you to have with her. You could try the broken record approach with this one, if that is what you decide. Just keep reminding her that you aren't okay with this issue being discussed. If she is an argumentative person, she may try and argue back about it, but if you keep repeating the same sentence to her, she will eventually get the message, or at least get annoyed enough to let it go. The more reasons you give an argumentative person as to why it's not a good topic, etc, the more ammo she will have to argue against you and it will just exhaust you and get stress levels up.
I'm sorry she can't be more supportive for you. I hope that you have people in your life that are supportive in the ways that you need!
xo
IJ