Learning the HARD WAY

Yep, that sounds incredibly painful...I guess that accepting the knowledge of WHAT IS true in these situations is the focus...there is definetely a kind of bond that comes from those situations in your past that victimized you, I know that...how many many times I wondered-after the end of a bad relationship...why was I attracted, and compelled by such a strong need to think I could TAKE CARE of him? He did exactly what he did before to other women...why did I think I was going to change it...be his salvation? What is wrong with me?
Well, all I can say is, I can't do it anymore. I'm not that savior. I'm having a hard enough time saving me, I give up on trying to be something I can't even be for myself very well right now.
I'm sorry you FOUND exactly the hard evidence that you suspected was there...and that it hurt you knowing the truth...but, now that you do...you can choose to detach and move into living in truth, being true to your principles, and protecting your heart...well, thats what I want to do now...
I know that my post sounded kind of light, but I think anyone who has been through it knows, behind the smile and laugh, there is so much more.
It hurts, but you know, those hurt times make you so much more strong than you were before...having a hug and a comment like its going to be okay helps...
But, when I stopped feeling guilty and ashamed and decided to look at it like, this is just some guy-and this is what he chooses to do-and its exactly what he wants to do in exactly the way he wants to do it...I started to quit thinking in the fix-it victim mentality.
I also started to see myself the way I am too, a broken little girl inside...ahhh poor lil fing, she really needs a mommy(me) who is going to protect her, and keep her from getting victimized by screwed up in the head users and abusers...I promised myself that I was going to do that, and right now, I'm a combination of brave mom, and scared little girl who is realizing that there are very untrustworthy people out there. But, since I am trustworthy, I know that trustworthy people are out there, I just have to protect my little girl and be diligent about KNOWING whether or not someone is trustworthy before...er...giving up the goods.
I would like to know more about what you learn on the way too...please share.