[doodily_doo66]

I've been in my current relationship with my first boyfriend for exactly a year and we're both 16 years old. He's amazing to me and we're just perfect together, we know how much we mean to each other and we've already planned our future together. It's mushy, I know. The only obstacle is my insecurity issues, which are deep. It also doesn't help that my boyfriend is very cute and popular in our school and he can have any girl he wants.

My boyfriend willingly tells me everything, especially when he sees a girl who is attractive that just walked pass or is in his classes. I hate the feeling of being jealous. I don't react when he tells me cause I want him to feel comfortable telling me anything, but it bothers me and sticks in my head. He always tells me I'm beautiful, but I find it hard to believe him anymore. He is trying to pursuade me to allow him to sexually sleep with other girls just so he can adventure and experiment. He tells me how much I mean to him and that he doesn't want to get bored of me, but its hard for me to agree to something like that. And I know it just annoys him when he asks and I say no cause he calls me 'close minded'. Its making my self-esteem drop so much and I feel I am no longer caring about anything anymore. Not even if he breaks up with me to go have his fun.

I want to make him happy but I can't imagine him being with someone else like that while with me. I hate being possessive, but he's mine and I don't like sharing. Its driving me insane can someone please give me advice.

[Trippin2.0]

I disagree, I don't think you too are perfect together, sorry. For a relationship to last and flourish into happy and healthy reality for both parties, a couple needs to share the fundamentals, as it is these basic values and principals on which we build our relationships.

Your feelings have nothing to with insecurity, or being possessive, its about vastly differing values. Some people can share, others can't. The ones who can't, can't do it because its not the type of person they are, its not because they are selfish or jealous. Its like being right handed, you just are...

You 2 are only 16 and already have differing stances on a huge fundamental, fidelity.

A relationship cannot and will not ever be healthy when 1 partner is monogamous and the other polygamous in nature. There isn't even a half way mark to compromise on, because each will end up harbouring resentment toward the other if they give in to what their partner needs or wants.

Imo, I don't think your bf is wonderful at all. I just cannot describe someone who pressures me into being ok with him sleeping around as being wonderful.

Seems like he's not considering you in this equation at all. He obviously knows you expect him to be faithful, and how having sex with other girls will hurt you, yet he's completely fine with guilt tripping you for it.
That's some shytti non wonderful behaviour right there.

If he was decent, he would respect your feelings, understand that you guys are just too different, and then end the relationship.

But let's say maybe, (a small maybe) he's not a jerk, that still leaves the fact that you 2 are incompatable. He thinks he should be able to sleep around, you don't.

There's just no compromise in this scenario...

[Heather11]

You sound like a smart girl and you've already got the answers for yourself.
Your BF is manipulating you and your feelings. The truth is, he will stop asking "permission" to be adventurous and just do it, without regard to your feelings and relationship. Be strong for yourself and focus on Your happiness. Try and use this as a life lesson now, because there will be men just like him that will weave in and out of your future. Good luck to you!

[NWgirl2013]

Oh Baby Girl ~ (sigh)
Just say no. He wants his cake and wants to eat it too. Life and relationships don't work this way.
If the tables were turned and you said this to him, would he like to think of you with another boy in your arms, all the while he is waiting his turn to be with you? (yuck either way) I would be willing to bet, um, NO. And he would call you bad names for it on top of it all. Intimacy is diminished if it isn't exclusive. That is the very bottom line.
Having friends of the opposite sex is one thing. Sleeping with them is Really something else. Don't let him take the specialness of this away from you because his hormones are raging out of control.
He is a young man who is full of being a young man. He hasn't learned some of the basic affirming behaviors of being a boyfriend yet.
Stand your ground. Sorry to say, that being so young, (I know you don't want to hear that) if he wants to experiment, he will.
(As an aside ~Don't be intimate with him if you haven't already. HPV is a permanent problem that will not affect his health but will affect yours. It is epidemic.Just sayin')
P.S. You are no doubt a Knock Out if you are his girlfriend! Don't ever feel bad about yourself because of his bad behavior! Many Hugs to you.

[harleyD]

I agree with NWgirl2013. This sounds like the classic case of him wanting to have his cake and eat it too... You are NOT being close-minded by not giving him permission to expiriment sexually. He is manipulating the insecurities that he probably knows you are feeling. That's not fair to you. You can set the rules and boundaries you are comfortable with. If he doesn't agree to them, then move on to someone else who will appreciate your beauty and your caring nature.