[tottochan]

Never have I thought of being in the situation of hating me that much.

I used to be proud of myself with full confidence and self-esteem. I felt entirely happy having good friends, good job, good family, a dream boyfriend...I knew how to be happy with what I had in life.

And then, 5 months ago, oops...I lost almost everything. Big trouble with my job, breaking up with boyfriend, family issue... They drove me mad, caused me psychological disorder hence lost friends and other relationships.

I have had therapy for 3 months and felt much better about mood controling now. But the confidence has got away. Now even though I try to take the bright side, think positive, I can not deny the fact that I am not a lovely person as before.

Everything has gone on the opposite way. Before, I always made good impression to other people. They said that I was smart, beautiful, interesting. They loved talking to me and making friends with me. Now my friends are all surprised at how I look. People ignore me. I try to start a conversation but none of them feel interested. They all walk away.

I have never tried as hard as now. I am telling myself this is just a challenge to make me stronger. But when will it end? I am fed up with looking at the mirrow every morning saying to myself that "Everything is gonna be ok", "I love myself"... while the image reflects an undeniably souless, ugly, devastating girl...

[manwithnofriends]

it would be a shame for Vietnam's vibrant youth to lose one of its members.

I hope you feel better. It sounds like you are seeking external things - particularly people - to validate you are a good person. Try and work on your self-esteem, through therapy? See a doctor if you are feeling depressed or anxious. x