[rdgrad15]

Anyone afraid to accept a favor from someone who has gotten mad at you in the past after they had offered to do something for you, especially in a group setting? I know one person, who after offering to take our fellowship group to burger king, got mad at me for having to buy a burger for me even though she was going to just going to buy the whole group coke or water and any food we got we had to buy ourselves, which was fine. For some reason she still paid for my order even though I was going to pay myself. She clearly didn't have to do that and found it unnecessary to get mad after offering. And it was in public which was more embarrassing. Still don't know exactly what went wrong there to this day.

Other times, I've had friends that would offer a ride or something else to me or someone else and when the offer was accepted, the friend making the offer got mad. It is as if who ever she offered the favor to was supposed to say no thanks or something. Anyone know why some people do that? I feel like if someone doesn't want to do something, they shouldn't offer. Also I've seen coworkers offer favors and then secretly get mad once someone accepts the favor. Do you become afraid to accept favors from people after this has happened? Do you reject favors more in order to prevent this? I generally decline favors, especially if it is from someone who has gotten mad at me in the past after offering a favor. It is as if I was supposed to say no or something. Almost like a mind game or something.

[Trippin2.0]

"Mind game" is a tad dark...

I'm sure its nothing that sinister.

I personally think such people offer stuff because they were taught to, they feel obligated to. But they're probably hoping the person says "Thanks but no thanks"...

I would not accept favours from someone who hates doing them.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

"Mind game" is a tad dark...

I'm sure its nothing that sinister.

I personally think such people offer stuff because they were taught to, they feel obligated to. But they're probably hoping the person says "Thanks but no thanks"...

I would not accept favours from someone who hates doing them.

I agree. I feel like a lot of people offer out of obligation and are secretly hoping their offer is declined. I rarely accept favors now unless I am absolutely 100% certain they are okay with it. And that is rare. It is why I hate accepting favors now, I'm always afraid the person will get mad, especially if it is someone who has previously gotten mad at me in the past.

[Sunflower123]

I usually don't accept favors unless it's a give and take kind of situation. Example: I'll offer to drive someone to the doctor and they'll return the favor at some later point in time. I don't think I've ever run into someone who got mad at me for accepting a favor. Sorry this happened to you.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I usually don't accept favors unless it's a give and take kind of situation. Example: I'll offer to drive someone to the doctor and they'll return the favor at some later point in time. I don't think I've ever run into someone who got mad at me for accepting a favor. Sorry this happened to you.

I agree. I really only accept favors if there will be some sort of repayment. I've offered repayment before. Usually most people agree but one person would not allow me to repay the favor and then acted annoyed when they kept offering favors. Eventually I just flat out declined their favors. It is also why I hate accepting favors now too. Especially if it comes from someone who has previously gotten mad, don't want them getting mad again.

I really don't understand people like these. Don't offer something unless you're really willing to give it, it's that simple. It's like posting an ad for a free dog and then getting mad when someone comes to get it.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by iPhone

I really don't understand people like these. Don't offer something unless you're really willing to give it, it's that simple. It's like posting an ad for a free dog and then getting mad when someone comes to get it.

Exactly! I feel like the person who took the group to Burger King should not have offered if she was getting tired of taking us and paying. After that incident, I never ate if we went to a restaurant. I would always hope it was on campus but if we met off campus, I would actually eat before leaving so I would not have to eat out. I had a friend who would offer rides to other friends and then get mad that she feels like she has to do it even though she clearly didn't, and even after people told her she didn't have too.

Also several months ago my coworker offered me a ride to work since it was super convenient several times and I even offered her gas money a couple times as repayment and she said no. And then started acting annoyed that she felt like she had to offer rides even though she clearly didn't have to and I even told her that. I stopped accepting offers from her as well. And that's why I am now afraid to accept offers from other people, especially if it is someone who has previously gotten mad at me in the past.