[BlueBucket]

Greetings,

I have recently been involved with a person in a whole different country. My mate, whom I love dearly, has a few mental health issues, including separation anxiety. Some of it seems to stem from childhood, where the parents separated and some severe abuse took place. My mate also has a fairly young child (below 10). She also has separation issues due to the father leaving at a young age.

I decided to visit my mate in their native country and have been here for nearly 3 weeks and I cannot extend this trip any longer without losing my job which in turn will cause me to lose my house among other things. I need to find the best way to leave without causing considerable damage. The child has had problems eating in the past but has recently had a normal appetite which may have been due to my presence - her father often fed her when she was younger. Since his absence, her eating has been generally less than normal/healthy. She is also having a hard time sleeping as the time for my departure has come soon and sooner. My mate has had far less severe problems with the mental health issues than usual since I have been around. Things get get very dark and grim when my mate has these bad mental health days and my presence is once again helping.

I need to find the best way to go back home. I intend on coming back - I actually want to move to my mates country later this year - but I just cannot do it monetarily at this time (the exchange rate is killing me!!!!). I am very tempted to leave everything in my home country behind and start fresh here but I am sure that will significantly damage our future should we decide that my home country is best for us. Not sure how to handle this.

[healingme4me]

I hope your mate and her child, can see realistically, why it's necessary for you, to return home. It's not easy, saying temporary goodbyes, but the reality, is you do need to preserve your job and home. Returning, to the space between you, will give you both a chance to map your future together.

[Rose3]

It sounds important that you return to your job and keep your home. It is unfortunate that others have eating problems or sleeping problems, but maybe they could benefit by consulting a professional for more support. Seems like a lot for you to feel responsible for. Sounds like you have lots on your mind to consider, before making some huge decisions. At this time of departure, hopefully all concerned can view this to be either temporary, or place less pressure on you (or on themselves), so that everyone can cope and be ok.