Is it my mom or me

I am 25 years old. I have never had a good relationship with my parents. I was never physically harmed but i always been afraid of my dad. I always was getting in trouble for something it seemed. I know I have not been an easy kid for my parents. I have disabilities such as ocd, autism, borderline adhd and have dealt with depression and do still sometimes. I wasn't diagnosed with disabilities till my teen years so growing up figure my problems with my parents were typical. It seems things have gotten worse since i found out i had disabilities. My arguments with my parents got worse and i trusted them less. I have 4 sisters and i am the only one with disabilities so i have always seen myself as different and worse then them. I am the most emotional of my family they don't really see emotions as important and when i try to talk to my mom about my feelings she brushes it off as not realistic and so as a result i have grown to not trust my mom. She is overly protective and since i was diagnosed with disabilities she believes i am not capable of being independent and can't decide whats safe and whats harmful. She never listens to what i want and feel is important to me. I have been severely depressed after arguments with my parents and i tried to end my life once and i believe it was because of my parents. Growing up I was most comfortable and felt safest when i was alone away from my parents. She always had to have the house cleaned and if it wasn't done the way she wanted it wasn't good enough. My parents are really religious and they believe if something there religion it is evil and bad. Since i was diagnosed with disabilities my parents have tried to do what they think is best they became legal guardians of me and eventually i moved to a group home and at first it was fine but then. I a computer and i got into internet gaming online. When living with my parents we had computers and internet but they were very strict about it and had arguments and got in trouble over that. So when i was out of my parents house and had computer and internet i was more free to use it how i wanted even though i new they have rules against it. They think i am too ignorant to know to be safe and not get into bad things but they don't believe i can discern things. So to the point of this post. It was recently suggested to me that the way my parents my mom in particular treated me was emotionally harmful. Since i was diagnosed with disabilities my problems got worse with my parents and they think i can't do anything cause i am disabled and don't listen to me and don't believe in emotions and feelings. My sisters were not emotional like my parents it has only been me who has had issues. So my question is was my mom emotionally hurtful to me or is it just my disabilities and I a hard stubborn child?

Hmmm. Of course, I am only hearing your side of the story. Objectively, I would think your diagnoses would make you a bit more difficult to deal with, but on the other hand, I can understand why you would want to be more independent.

Since you are out on your own, then I would think you ought to have say-so on what you do on a computer. What kind of gaming were you into? Could it be considered dangerous or wrong, somehow? I think they can get rather addictive.

My mom tried to overcontrol me, so I can understand how you feel. I got very angry and then depressed. So, I can definitely say she was not healthy for me to be around a lot---even now, many years later, when I am a married woman with grown children myself.

Do you see a counselor or therapist? If so, then what does he/she say?