[kantao]

Uhm, hello. I do not know if this fits in relationships or sexual issues, but here goes...

Thanks to one of my friends, I have meet another friend (girl) this last Tuesday. (They knew each other since they were just kids).
We were talking the few days we knew each other, and she knew I was anti-social, but she likes to make people uncomfortable in a fun way.
So! Both, my friend and her, wanted to let me visit them for a film night this Friday.
Well, it was late Friday and they invited me over (2½ hours bus drive).
I said yes because I really want to meet someone, and I thought she was cute.
Well, as it turns out, no film were watched that night, more or less, it was me and her drinking a bit for the night, while my friend just kept go in and out of the room yelling "best wingman ever!".
She got a bit sick for drinking, so it did not end all that bright of a night.
Then the next day she invites me over on where she slept that night for a "friendly" cuddle, and yes, apparently she does that a lot with her friends.
She dares me, due to social awkwardness, to kiss her without saying it; I did it though... and made it a lot more awkward for me due to unexperienced with this.

Now that you know most of it, here comes the part it become confused for me. :S

So my friend have to go to his dad, and offered ME to either go home with her, or I go back home, and they stay for the day to do what they normally do. I felt like it was an obvious choice, so I took with her home.
One let to another, and suddenly we were watching the repeated film while having some time together...
As it might have let to "sexy time", we go for prevention, and she says p-pills would do, but I was not sure, and rather wanted to wait until we also had a condom, which we did not have. (She, nor me forced anyone to go through anything)
As the day goes around, I go home, and everything went weird for me.
After I got home, I was full of regrets of thinking she might never want to try again; I had the way that she was perfect for the first time because she was patient with me.
My thoughts where, I had it as it might was not a good idea anyways, and then again... (It went with these thoughts for the rest of the weekend)
Now here Sunday, we talked again, and went into the awkward “sexy time” that happened that turned into a walk away. She now sees me as a friend because she thinks/knows that the one you do it with for the first time you will always remember and will possibly always have emotions attached to. (In addition, I tried to convince her otherwise, as I became a bit desperate of the hopes of something more.)

In addition, she was the first one I ever kissed sober.

I hope someone can help me clear my thoughts out of this since I have never had anything with anyone until now…

Cheers and sorry for this long story,
Kantao ^^

[Jan1212]

I would be unsure about being with someone who wants to get you into her bed right away without a condom. STDs and HIV can still spread even if she takes the pill. Why would a friend introduce you to a girl like this? My guess is not about starting a relationship, but simply to have meaningless sex. She also wanted to kiss just to kiss, there was nothing behind it, no reason, it doesn't make it special

Do not be regretful for taking precautions, better safe than sorry

[kantao]

Originally Posted by Jan1212

I would be unsure about being with someone who wants to get you into her bed right away without a condom. STDs and HIV can still spread even if she takes the pill. Why would a friend introduce you to a girl like this? My guess is not about starting a relationship, but simply to have meaningless sex. She also wanted to kiss just to kiss, there was nothing behind it, no reason, it doesn't make it special

Do not be regretful for taking precautions, better safe than sorry

Hi Jan1212, just to clear a few things out quickly, neither me, my friend, or she would have thought this happened. and the thing about no protection I think was just the mood there was set with us.

But as you say, "better safe than sorry" actually makes me very calm thinking that could have been gone wrong if neither one of us stopped the action... You brought my brain and I back on track for the logical thinking after this. I might have to say though that my feelings for her might have played a role for doing it, I am happy think others meant I did the right thing.

Even though you cleared this out for me for the worst part, I can't say I'm still having mixed feelings for her...

Best regards & much love,
Kantao ^^

[hamster-bamster]

She is seriously weird. Seriously. I think you lucked out that you didn't have condoms.

I know this is not what you planned to hear, but I will tell you to prevent your using a term whose meaning you don't know in a RL conversation when such uneducated talk can be embarrassing for you. You use "socially awkward" and "anti-social" interchangeably, as if they were synonyms. They are two disparate things and you are not anti-social for sure, but might be socially awkward. Anti-social people are not socially awkward; often, they can have charisma and a charming veneer, but they disregard societal norms in furtherance of their selfish goals. You see the huge difference?

[PeachCream22]

Yup. Agreed. She is seriously weird. I would be careful around her not let things move too fast. I don't think she is aware of how you feel about her (even if she does, she seems to take things a bit too lightly) and since you have feelings for her, better slow things down and think through it more carefully instead of acting out due to your feelings.

I think being careful not to get your heart stomped on is the only advice I can give, and stay smart, try to be friends first and get to know each other, see where it leads.