[anw014]

I am suffering from depression and I have for a few years. I have been withy boyfriend for a year now, and this is the second winter we've been together. My depression gets worse in winter.
When I get really bad and am feeling really low and down, I tend to push him away and I hide my feelings and emotions. I feel like I can't be all loving and cuddly like he wants it's not that I don't love him or I don't want to go kiss him and hug him everyday, but there are days when I just can't. It's even starting to affect our sex life. It's one of the most sacred and special things in our relationship but I just can't get in the mood. I also seem to get irritated and frustrated way more easily and he doesn't understand what's happening when I break down crying. I feel like my depression is ruining my relationship

[manwithnofriends]

That's not good, you have to be true to your feelings and let him see them. If he still doesn't get it, he must be some kind of psychopath.

[mazing]

I know how you feel - I had a similar issue with my partner, who thankfully has been very understanding.

Are you able to talk to him about what is going on? Explain your depression and what it means? If you don't feel comfortable talking, could you write to him? Tell him that you really do love him but sometimes the depression takes over and it is hard to show your emotions and love. Tell him in advance what happens when you become depressed (what you feel, what you think and what you want/need from him) so that he can prepare and also not be shocked when it does happen.

Unfortunately it is quite common so there are probably also online resources you could encourage him to look up if he is wanting more information.

Any kind of mental illness can be hard on a relationship but with the right people it can still work. It involves trying to be as open as possible and communicating what you are feeling when you can and also explaining the kinds of things that you may be thinking or experiencing later on when you do withdraw so that he knows what might be happening and what you want him to do.

Good luck

Oh, and welcome to PsychCentral.

[snarkydaddy]

I hope things have improved since your post. If you are under the care of a psychologist or psychotherapist perhaps you could include him in with your visits. I on occation go with my partner to her psychotherapist. We find it helpful.