[kala83]

so up until a few months ago I had two partners that I played with for quite a few months...one male one female.

I really, really ended up falling for the guy really badly .....and that was before I meet the girl that we got involved with. But I basically kept getting told for months that us two just did not work out as far as dating and that it would not work.

So we had a friends with benefits kind of deal going on for a while pretty much. Well eventually I wanted to find more for myself then just that.

and I did....I started dating a really good friend of mine I have known for years.

we are really committed to each other.......and we lol attempt to be romantic but most times it comes out as goofy and geeky.

There were points in the beginning of our relationship that were sort of rocky cause even though to me I did not feel like it was cheating...it kind of was basically he was not sure just where his commitment was to each other and I was not sure......either so I ended up accidentally slipping and going back to the other two.....

mostly due to I was scared and felt vonrable and needed help dealing with the situation.

but now we are very much committed...there is a lot of temptation on my part to go and do the things I still used to do with my old friends, and so is there on their part too. We have not actually done anything all three of us as to physically doing anything in a very long time...but its come close to it.

at first I thought it was simply they missed the physical part to it and that was it...cause the physical end of it was all I was seeing.

But there is much more to it then all that....

I had sort of a similar situation happen today where nothing fully happened but me and the guy ended up talking for a long time. And I told him how it was awkward that I had fallen in love with him and wanted so much to be with him...but that for a very long time all he truly did was just push me away......and now his attitude seemed to change. He feels poorly for it as well cause he knows his behavior is not a good thing...and its not always the most appropriate for someone in my situation and we both know this.

And he does truly feel badly, I think he is finally starting to realize that i was not the only one that ended up falling in love.....but he know I am happy and he wants to stay happy but....at the same time we both miss.....what he shared with each other and what it could have potentially been for us too.

I wish I could say I was bad, cause frankly I feel like I should.....this behavior pushes my boundaries...and tempts to cheat on a man I am with and that I love.

But I don't!

But I also to a degree know why this is going on....its not a great thing to have go on and it needs to not continue......but at least my friend is being honest with me...and when he realizes he has gone to far and I tell him so he respectfully does stop and listens to me.

I've loved more than one man at the same time for different reasons. They were very different people but I think it's possible to have a strong affection for more than one person at the same time. I'm glad it worked out for you!

[kala83]

kind of I mean both of them are fairly monogamous so I can't really be with both of them...but they both resepect what I want and what I don't want.....lol honestly with the friend if we were to be together it would be really hard.....
I mean I feel like we would end up killing each other in a serious relationship.....

also it kind of sucks cause some of this plays into the fact I have a sex addiction, I have to remind myself all the time that just cause I love these people does not mean I have to be sexual with them. It seems for me its easy to remind myself of that but for others sometimes its not as easy.

it titers on being problematic to ok by the day....honestly.......but I know that because both of them do love me, they want what is best for me too and they want to me to be happy.

its nice that both are fairly good friends too we all might not get along great in the same room. But they are good friends.