[sickofitall]

Okay, here comes my spiel.

I know the obvious answer is get out, but my question is how? I feel i have exhausted my resources.

Well I am dating a guy who is a paranoid schizophrenic, who is also bi-polar he told me the other day. But this is not the problem. I have more than come to accept his imperfections, but now he has become violent.
He has been controlling from the get go, why I didn't run at the first sign, I couldn't tell you. I have tried to help him through his tough times, but now he is at the point of needing help that I cannot provide. I am by no means a professional anything, except a listener. When you are dating someone who has paranoid delusions, then all of a sudden those delusions get focused around everything you are doing. Its bad! I can't scratch my nose, or move my hair out of my face without him thinking I am trying to signal to someone. When in all actuality, no one else can see me. We live in rural California where we are bout 10 minutes from town, and nearest neighbors are about 1/2 mile away.
Now on to the worst part. Yes it gets worse.
Since he is schizophrenic all of these things that he thinks he sees or hears or feels, are as real to him as anything. So when I try and get him to stop bothering me, because I get tired of having to move from where I am sitting so that he can "check". He freaks out and starts calling me a liar, then comes the violence, and the refusal to allow me get away from him. He thinks that the only reason I want to get away from him, is so that I can go be with some other guy. Why can't he understand that after I am already hurt and scared, that I just want to get away because I don't want to get hurt anymore.
He keeps asking me if I want him to leave and never come back, but I always just say I don't know. Every other time in the past when I have told him to get out of my life he has flipped out and hurt me, or threatened to kill me.

I just want out, I thought he was gonna leave me alone the other night. Then last night out of no where he shows up. And now my face is swollen, and discolored. I had to get up and do my early morning route, thank god he was sleeping. I haven't gone home now I am just sitting at the beach trying to figure out what to do. I just don't know what to do, I want him gone but the last time he was only in jail about a month and a half.
I take care of my elderly grandmother who lives on the same property as me just a different house. So I can't just up and leave. A restraining order doesn't do anything, what am I gonna do roll it up and hit him on the nose with it? the closest officers will take 20 minutes to get to where I am. I am at a loss of what to do now, I just want him to leave me alone, but he is convinced that he will find the guy that I am hiding on my property.

Someone please give me a suggestion. Law enforcement has done nothing but pick him up, and let him go after a month. What else can I do? Im just glad I don't work customer service anymore, because with how I look today I would not be able to go to work.

Any advice is good advice at this point please.

[punkybrewster6k]

hmmm.
You are in a tough position.
Has he been hospitalized recently?
Meds of any kind?
Have you talked to him about getting help or else you will leave? Or is that to dangerous.

[hvert]

Have you called a domestic abuse hotline? The national number is 1-800-799-7233.

[Rose76]

You have a very tough problem. Like the poster above, I would suggest you connect with experts in the field of domestic abuse.

You seem to be very focused on his psychiatric diagnoses. Not all people who have schizophrenia or severe mood problems are violent. Your boyfriend is violent. That is the problem. Do you have any contact with the doctors who treat him? When he is not staying on the property where you live, where does he stay?

It sounds like you need to keep him off your property, but that can be tricky to accomplish. You may be confusing him with mixed signals, by staying involved with him. You might want to think about getting a guard dog. See if your local police have any special services for victims of domestic violence. They should have some advice for you. This is a dangerous situation you are in, as you don't need me to tell you.

[hamster-bamster]

You need to have him put in jail. Hopefully this time, as a repeat offender, he will get more time.

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[hamster-bamster]

You also need to stop trying to reason with him, as you are bound to fail and get frustrated even more.

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[hannabee]

If you can't get help from the abuse line, if it were me, I would get the restraining order, a dog and a gun! You are in serious danger at this point. Is there someone in his family that can help you get him admitted, after all, he is a danger to you and himself and I would think you could at the least get a three day order to have him evaluated. I'm praying for you!!

[healingme4me]

They've only kept it, for a month, after a domestic assault and battery and violation, of a restraining order?

Gosh, if violent offenders cannot be kept behind bars, who will they keep locked up?

Sorry, you are going through this. Is keeping the doors and windows locked and not receiving phone calls, an option?

[Rose76]

At the very least, minimize your interaction with him. Make yourself as boring as possible when he is around you. If he could just lose interest in you, that would be the best outcome.

I agree with the poster above who said stop trying to reason with him. He is not open to being reasoned with. You can repeat certain things, like a broken record, but don't bother thinking that you are somehow going to get through to him. You're not.

Anything you do to give him some pleasant interaction is just reinforcing his belief that he wants to cling to you. Every time you consent to him being around you reinforces his belief that he has a right to be.

As we all should know by now, the police can not guarantee your safety. Still, I would fill out a police report for every single illegal violation of your space that he perpetrates. Someday, it might be useful.

[outlaw sammy]

Hi Sickofitall

I have type I rapid-cycling bipolar disorder, and for reasons I do not wish to discuss here, I've been extremely violent towards sexual preditors throughout my life - but I'VE NEVER TOUCHED IN WOMAN OR CHILD IN ANGER! Your pathetic "boyfriend" is leaning on his mental illness diagnoses as an excuse for being a coward who needs a lethal beating from a protector. DUMP HIM A.S.A.P.

Samuel