Feel guilty for cutting off contact with ex. Advice, please?

Okay, so I recently finally cut off contact for good from a fairly disastrous relationship that became long distance and I'm feeling pretty weird about it. This is long. I didn't realise until I started typing how much I needed to get the whole thing off my chest. I'm aware a lot of this makes me sound like an idiot. Thanks for reading.

I (female) met my ex (also female) in mid 2010 and it was one of those relationships where every so often she'd go silent for a week and then break up with me. I was fairly chronically depressed at the time and pretty much idiotically went back several times.

In mid 2011 she announced her intentions to move 10000 miles away to work (she wasn't offered a job that far away, she sought it out) and asked if I would go with her. I said I had no plans to leave my family and friends and job, and we broke up. Before she left she asked me to meet up and we started the on again, off again thing again... only long distance.

I found it really stressful. She'd get angry when I wanted to talk about anything other than our relationship, like if I'd seen a good movie or had a good day at work. I had to talk to her every morning while I was getting ready for work and every night before I went to bed and all through the day or she would say I didn't love her. I felt like I never had a single moment to myself.

She would talk and talk and talk about her undying love for me, but her actions never ever matched her words. I don't believe she was stringing me along knowingly, I really don't... but I do believe she has serious issues that stop her from being able to be close to anyone consistently and that I should have seen that all along. I also believe that she doesn't know what's appropriate in a relationship.

It was still on again, off again. She said I had to come and see her or that it wouldn't work. She told me that she didn't know any gay women in the new country and that she was going to join a website... but just to meet friends. I tried to be comfortable with that, but it didn't happen. I actually legitimately felt like I was going insane and yet like an idiot I still did not break up with her! OMG. In my defence, I was getting more unwell by the day and my friends and family were becoming seriously concerned. I still thought I was just stressed out.

One night not long after the personals website incident, I took a major turn for the worse. I had a conversation with her that I have no recollection of having in which I told her it was too stressful and that we needed to break up. I'll admit that I was probably really horrible to her, and I regret that.

My mood became dangerously elevated, I did some stupid stuff that isn't relevant in this post because it doesn't relate to her, and I landed up being detained in the hospital. I was then ultimately diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

She went quiet on me after that for months, and then came the breakup text, and then not much for months except she'd come in and out of my life randomly and despite saying she'd always be there for me she was actually zero support as I came to terms with my diagnosis.

Our most recent conversation involved her trying to cajole me into getting back together and, when I said I would consider it to get her off my back, she immediately went into "this won't work because you are unwilling to move and have no sense of adventure" mode. And that's when I went into "f**k it" mode. I realised that I would never be able to please this woman. Ever.

I blocked all her numbers on my phone, blocked her on social media and set my email to automatically delete anything from her.

My question obviously is: this relationship was obviously a hot mess from hell, so why do I feel so guilty for finally closing the door on it? Why do I even wonder if I'm doing the right thing? I feel like I treated her so badly by not explaining why I was doing this, but I also don't want to assuage that by contacting her. Suggestions for moving on past this guilt that DO NOT involve speaking to her, please?

You need not feel guilty, she was the one that moved away. You cannot change her or live her life for her. You have not treated her badly at all.
Don't communicate with her any more, you are right to move on.

No need to feel guilty, she initiated the move. I feel it would be a mistake for you to move 1000 miles away with her. Your relationship is unstable and moving away from family and friends would be a mistake.
You need to do what's best for you and having no contact is the best way to "close the door".