[Lostandconflicted]

I am filled with anger. This break down began yesterday when I was upset and crying. I'm just 12 weeks pregnant, and my husband couldn't help but laugh. I was so angered. I have been extremely ill through the first three months and he has been some what helpful, but he seems to be missing a supportive attitude. What I mean is, he'll do things for me when I ask, but usually with deep sighs or eye rolls. The house is a mess, and he doesn't understand the concept of 'you'll have to pick up the slack' he's just annoyed that he has to do house work while I do little, and he just does the bare minimum. If I ask him to do more, he gets angry complains and tells me to calm down it's not a big deal. But it is. To me. It always has been. Everything is a battle with him and I'm exhausted. So this argument began yesterday when he was laughing at me crying. It went on and on and I got so angry I tried to whack him across the face, I sort of made contact, but he just turn instantly serious and walked away. I felt so much guilt, and was still so upset I bawled for almost an hour. Later when we were arguing about it he maintain that it is funny, he says 'it happens all the time!' I'm yelling at him it doesn't matter, and when I'm in pain you have no right to laugh. I don't even know if he can hear himself justifying this...it's absurd! With all the lack of support I've been feeling from him, and the overwhelming amount in this particular situation, I blurted out that it was just too hard and I don't want to keep going through this with such little support and lack of respect. He was stunned. So you want and abortion? He asked. I said it seemed like a better alternative to this reality. .... I left to go to a friends. This morning all I could tell him was it's just too hard. He just said fine! Do what you want. There was more arguing and he took of his ring to try and give it to me. I would take it so he put it on the bed and left for work. Again I felt like: right, going gets tough you leave. There is never support to lean on with you. Way to help me prove my point. I know he's excited about this baby. He said he's not ok with a hasty abortion. But not once did he let up about the fact that it's funny and it's ok for him to laugh at my pain. I don't get how he figures this is acceptable behaviour or why I'd choose to put up with it. The whole thing has been such a whirl wind of emotion and I need help grounding myself in this situation and some perspective from those outside of it. Anything will help.

[gloamingone]

I was in a similar situation several years ago. My husband was an alcoholic and a nightmare. If I cried, he'd say "here we go again." It was awful. I finally kicked him out and divorced him but kept the baby, who at eight years old is the light of my life. I hope you can find some peace. It sounds like your husband has some very serious issues. Laughing at someone's pain is the lowest of the low.

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I am so sorry to hear that you are in such a difficult situation. My very best wishes go out to you. Have you considered counseling for both of you, and/or couples' therapy?