[WhiteTigerGirl]

I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend. We have been dating for almost 17 months yet still live separately. When we first got together we were both just getting out of bad relationships so we agreed to take things slow. We talked all day everyday on text. Eventually we both fell in love. We didn't even become intimate till being together for 4 months. But there are things in the relationship that don't seem to make sense or add up right. But I'm not sure if it's just my insecurities caused from my last relationship getting in the way or if they are things I should truly be concerned about. Here they are: when we first started dating he added me to his Facebook friends list. But he made me promise I would never tag him in anything so I said OK. Well while I was on vacation I posted a status saying I couldn't get home to see my boyfriend. Well I put in his first name but I didn't realize that it automatically had put in his last name to and it ended up tagging him. Not even 5 minutes I got a text from him asking why I had done that and that it needed to be fixed immediately. I apologized and said it was a mistake so I went and fixed it. Sometime from the time I went to bed at 11 that night and waking up at 8 he'd deactivated his account and when I asked why he just said it was causing too many problems. Next issue: we've been together for this long and I have yet to meet his parents or even a single friend of his. I don't even know if his friends are male or female. Next issue: he Is a regular church goer and usually attends with his mom and grandma. Well he goes to the same church I grew up going to. He finally asked me if I wanted to go with him one week and I said of course. I thought great I'll finally meet his mom. Well his church has another church right across the road from it. He ended up taking me to the other church telling me I would understand the service better cause it was more modern. Next issue: I ended up pregnant and didn't know about it till I was miscarrying. I told him about it and he said oh I'm sorry. Never came over once to support me going through it so I thought maybe he was just taking it hard. Next issue: we used to talk all the time, and now I can send him a message and it take hours if at all for him to respond back, but when I'm with him and he gets a message he immediately replies to it. Next issue: when he gets a message on his phone and I am sitting right next to him he ways tips his phone to where I can't see the screen. Next issue: he never makes an attempt to make plans with me. I'm always the one that has to suggest days for us to get together. And they have to always be planned in advance. There is no making plans for that same day. Next issue: things where I live are not going good. I am treated very badly and need to get out of this situation. So I brought up the topic of us living together. Then he proceeded to say that he was behind on rent and doesn't think his landlord would let anyone move in because of that. So I offered to pay what he owed with my taxes. Then he said that after that is paid then he needs to pay a months rent on time to get on his landlords good side before he could ask him about me moving in. So he said the soonest would be about 2 months. I can believe it about the not being able to because he is behind cause if he had to be evicted that would just be one more person he has to deal with to get to move. But the getting on the landlords good side doesn't make sense to me. His lease says if someone wants to move in they have to be added to the lease, it doesn't say that you have to make him happy to be able to do that. As long as your caught up on rent I don't see what the issue is. All these little flags have gone up over the course of our relationship. But I'm not sure if they are real reason to cause me to be worried that maybe he is seeing someone else too or something or if it's just my insecurities getting in the way because of what I had to go through with my husband. What do you take from all that? Would it cause you to be suspicious too? What would you do if you were me and had these things happen? Any advice would be appreciated. I honestly think there might be someone else he is seeing but I'm afraid to bring that up and he get upset because he thinks I don't trust him. Even if you don't have advice do you have any ideas about what he might be up to or doing? Please help cause I don't know where to go from here. Thanks!

[monkeybrains21]

Personally? I think he's hiding something. I think he's seeing sine one else and playing u. He's doing things he did at the beginning of ur relationship just not with u( answering text right away). If he gets upset with u wanting him to come clean with his behavior something is wrong. He's a user.

If u were to pay is back rent and then the month. He will come back and say his landlord said no. He will be happy to let u get him out of the bind he is in, but it will be for him and not u. He's selfish and self centered and doesn't want anyone to meet u because a) he fears what they will tell u b) he doesn't want them asking questions about who u are or c) he doesn't feel like u r forever because he's seeing someone else.

Sorry, I have my own paranoia. But for relationships to work everyone has to be honest especially when it affects everyone. My partner and I have been together 6 yrs. we are honest with everything, the only thing I don't tell her is my past that has nothing to do with us. We come from similar families and similar pasts. I feel no need telling her my demons when she has many of the same.

Neither of us are cheaters and we know we are better together than apart. We have our issues just like everyone else, but mainly that's a failing in me because I'm not an emotional person. We know it's my inability to have normal emotions but I try.

Sorry back to u. Ur boyfriend seems to be afraid of being found out or caught in his lies and deceit. U can do better than him, u deserve better than him.

[hvert]

I think you should trust your gut. Something is telling you not to trust this guy. It does sound weird that you haven't met any of his friends or family in 17 months.

Personally, I would not want to move in with someone who did not pay their rent. If you move in, you may become liable for the bills that he doesn't pay. Who needs that? I hope you can find a better living situation.