[growlithing]

So I have this friend/roommate. Ever since I returned from the hospital, he has decided it is funny to poke fun at me whenever I do anything quirky or socially awkward by telling me I need to "be a human". It's really annoying and degrading because I can't really help having the problems I do (PTSD in particular) and me having an overreaction to someone knocking on my door or popping a balloon isn't my fault. Calling me "inhuman" when I yelp at a loud noise or laugh to myself when thinking of a funny joke or even getting a little loopy because I forgot to take my meds isn't fair.

Last night, he was grumpy after school and I was very on edge and jumpy/shaky. He told me that I need to act like a human or so he'd do something to me I don't really remember what he said. I am overly sassy and I know he's full of it and I said "is that a threat or a promise?" He didn't respond until today when he texted me "Just for the record, I'm going to ask you to be a human until you act like one" and telling me he doesn't appreciate my sass. Well, I don't appreciate him degrading me because I have some issues. It's not like he's Mr Perfect over there and I'm not degrading him or threatening him. And how exactly does a human act anyway? I eat at the table and crap in the toilet and walk on two legs and contribute to conversation. But I guess that because I get nervous and don't always behave in the most socially polished way or get scared and dissociate I am no longer human.

I don't know if I even want to tell him to shove it or not. It might not be worth the drama but at the same time I don't want to just roll over and take it

[kaliope]

I always thought something was wrong with me, that I was weird odd, not normal for having the very experiences that you are describing. I would judge myself so harshly and critically for it. I was so mean to myself. I would punish me for doing what came naturally. very insensitive, just like your roommate. after I learned these were just my defenses and perfectly normal for someone with ptsd I learned to look at these responses differently. when I had an over reaction to something and went to judge, I became more accepting and told myself "this is perfectly normal for me". so you can tell your roommate you are being human, a human with ptsd, a quite perfect human with ptsd and be proud of it. take care.

[Silent Void]

Kick him out. He's not your friend.

[Rapunzel]

Humans do all of the things that you do. Humans have emotions and humans react to and are affected by the things that happen to them. Humans are hurt when their experiences and their emotions are invalidated by people who think it is funny to tease or threaten them about being quirky, having a personality, or being who they are. Humans think about things and laugh to themselves when they think of something funny.

He has his vocabulary mixed up. Someone who didn't do all of those things might be a robot or an android. Is that what he wants you to be? Sorry, you were born a human. You weren't manufactured in a laboratory. Was he?

[Alone & confused]

Well you can tell him FOR ME that HE needs to learn how to be a DECENT human being! Did his momma not teach him to be Respectful of others & Not to be a BULLY?? I used to fight punks like that in school when I was young! I can't stand people who downgrade others just to make themselves feel like they're "somehow superior!" It makes Them LOWER than the people they're trying to put down! I'm sorry for ranting , I know this is "your friend/ room mate" whatever, but I Hate to hear about ANYONE being mistreated in any way! Hope he GROWS UP if you have to continue living with him!

[growlithing]

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

Well you can tell him FOR ME that HE needs to learn how to be a DECENT human being! Did his momma not teach him to be Respectful of others & Not to be a BULLY?? I used to fight punks like that in school when I was young! I can't stand people who downgrade others just to make themselves feel like they're "somehow superior!" It makes Them LOWER than the people they're trying to put down! I'm sorry for ranting , I know this is "your friend/ room mate" whatever, but I Hate to hear about ANYONE being mistreated in any way! Hope he GROWS UP if you have to continue living with him!

I'm not living with him next year. He just has very little respect for people and an inability or refusal to understand how his actions might affect someone else. I haven't decided whether or not it's worth cutting off the friendship over or not because if I did that, I would lose a LOT of friends and I don't take what he has to say personally because he talks out of his *** all the time trying to mask his own issues. Just sometimes he says something that really bugs me and this whole thing where he is inferring that I'm not a human and threatening me is too much. The question really is how much am I willing to tolerate and how much should I be willing to tolerate and I'm not sure.

Luckily, he's full of it and kinda stupid. He ended up texting me saying "well I hope for your sake you never get the answer to your question" and I'm just thinking to myself, why would you put that in writing?

[Keifer]

Don't worry about it...... There is no one on this planet without issues! Maybe he is just focusing on yours to avoid his own. At least you can accept your own.

To err is human after all.....

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by growlithing

I'm not living with him next year. He just has very little respect for people and an inability or refusal to understand how his actions might affect someone else. I haven't decided whether or not it's worth cutting off the friendship over or not because if I did that, I would lose a LOT of friends and I don't take what he has to say personally because he talks out of his *** all the time trying to mask his own issues. Just sometimes he says something that really bugs me and this whole thing where he is inferring that I'm not a human and threatening me is too much. The question really is how much am I willing to tolerate and how much should I be willing to tolerate and I'm not sure.

Luckily, he's full of it and kinda stupid. He ended up texting me saying "well I hope for your sake you never get the answer to your question" and I'm just thinking to myself, why would you put that in writing?

That sounds like a threat! OOOOOOHHHHH would I love to get ahold of him!!!

Ignore him? Sometimes if you don't respond to a pest, he might give up, e.g. if his main intention is just to irritate you.

[growlithing]

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

That sounds like a threat! OOOOOOHHHHH would I love to get ahold of him!!!

A threat he sent me in writing that I could use to get him in serious trouble if he chose to do anything. But he's a wuss. Sending me that crap 20 hours after I said what I said just because he wants to feel like he has the upper hand. He doesn't. If we were in court or if I took that to school, he'd have nothing to stand on and I doubt anyone would take pity on him and his attitude problem he thinks is so funny.

[growlithing]

Originally Posted by psychehedone

Ignore him? Sometimes if you don't respond to a pest, he might give up, e.g. if his main intention is just to irritate you.

Yeah that's the route I'm going to go for now. I just needed to complain

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by growlithing

A threat he sent me in writing that I could use to get him in serious trouble if he chose to do anything. But he's a wuss. Sending me that crap 20 hours after I said what I said just because he wants to feel like he has the upper hand. He doesn't. If we were in court or if I took that to school, he'd have nothing to stand on and I doubt anyone would take pity on him and his attitude problem he thinks is so funny.

Exactly! Hold on to that! He ain't even Cute, much less funny treating you like that! Your more human than He is! He sounds like a Jerk to me! Again, I'm sorry! I have ZERO TOLERENCE for bullies! And a VERY SHORT FUSE about things like that! If I knew him I WOULD SURELY put him in his place for you!

[growlithing]

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

Exactly! Hold on to that! He ain't even Cute, much less funny treating you like that! Your more human than He is! He sounds like a Jerk to me! Again, I'm sorry! I have ZERO TOLERENCE for bullies! And a VERY SHORT FUSE about things like that! If I knew him I WOULD SURELY put him in his place for you!

Haha thanks but if I felt like putting him in his place, I would with very little difficulty. Whatever upper hand he thinks that gave him he handed over to me the second he pressed "send".

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by growlithing

Haha thanks but if I felt like putting him in his place, I would with very little difficulty. Whatever upper hand he thinks that gave him he handed over to me the second he pressed "send".

True. Just know that I'm on your side!

[unaluna]

Sounds like he has a personality disorder. Who says such things, besides...um...us??

[growlithing]

Originally Posted by hankster

Sounds like he has a personality disorder. Who says such things, besides...um...us??

Literally. I seriously think he might have NPD.

[Gus1234U]

i have found that there are steps to gaining self confidence and self esteem. there is no need to wonder about your so-called "friend". he isn't one. he is no one's friend, not even his own.

so what do you do about him ? well,, at first the only skills i had to deal were to cut someone off, stop being around them, not answer their calls, etc. that is effective but primitive, and like you said, you alienate all the people who are able to tolerate his behavior.

a better skill is to realize as it's happening, that he is not talking to you, but to himself, about himself, and if anything, he's to be pitied. i mean, really, that is so sad that he would respond to you like that~! he's the cripple. be a bigger person, and let him know you are not rising to the bait.

i hope you find some way to side-step this guys words and attitude. you certainly seem to be the more sensitive and accepting person.

best wishes~
Gus