[tillytot42]

I feel slightly ashamed writing this but I need to talk about it as it's just going round and round in my head. I became friends with this woman just over three years ago when my mum died. She has the same illness as me,fibromyalgia and she has since been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I honestly feel I have been there more for her than she has for me. She seems to have crisis after crisis and I'm worn down by it all,I just want some peace! I last saw her a few weeks ago when we met for a coffee and she just sat in the cafe crying and I ended up feeling so freaked out by it all,that I just couldn't stand it anymore. I've tried to support her I really have but I'm exhausted. I have my own illness to contend with and I'm a single parent with two teenagers. I don't have loads of friends as I find i just don't have the energy for others problems. People seem to want to dump them on me and I suppose I've let them.
How on earth am I going to explain this to her without hurting her too badly?

[healingme4me]

I don't know why I find ending friendships or taking space from friendships harder than a romantic break up, but gosh it's been my reality.
Not proud to say, in my younger years, taken the passive avoidance approach, but I have. Of course, at this stage in life, being all grown up, where would that get me?

There's two ways, that cross my mind here. Face to face or via letter format.

Clearly, it's turned into a one sided support system. With crying in public, no less. How does one, cleverly end this, without seeming to tear up anothers fragile esteem? Do you come right out and say that you aren't getting any or much value from being friends? Or does it come back to just being too busy right now in life, and her knowing enough of you, comes across as falsehood?
Now I'm wondering about slowly drifting...
My brain can't seem to think of solutions, writing out loud, hoping for a solution to come to me...

Gosh, i hope others have some good ideas...



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[hvert]

I wish I had a solution for this problem! I sometimes feel like I am always making friends who just want me to listen to them. I usually take the cowardly way out and am too busy to get together, or sick or whatever.

Could you tell her that you are going through some rough times and can't handle being around other people right now?