[rigaschuckler]

I remember years ago, I fell in love with a girl. I loved her, but I was too shy to propose her. I felt like I could not bear the rejection so I befriended her, though knowing she had a boy friend, and they were in a live- in, and acted like a well-wisher to her. She had been going through a difficult phase in her life back then, so she needed a support base, and I guess she found me as that. She would call me every night, and would cry, and explain her miseries and I would comfort her. Whenever she had trouble she would call me, and cry. I was her best friend and companion, but for me it was like, I was doing all of these for the one I love.
As you have know by now, I was a loner and I had a strange life. I was brought up in a rural area, so I was not at all in to grooming or even flirting. I had no women in my life except my mother, so I always felt shy to attract them. I tried, even then to make relationships, but never did succeed.
This girl came in a sweet time of my life, and there was nothing similar between them. She had 2 boyfriends before her current one, and I was like waiting for my love. I am not a bad-looking guy, that I can say, but I was not a hot one during my college days. I haven’t even seen a gymnasium before then.
What to say, I loved her. I wanted to tell her that I really love her. I wanted to be with her and wanted do magnificent things for her, inspire of knowing that she was committed to another guy. I continued to pick up her calls and supported her. I never opened up about my love until one night she called me and said- ‘Hey I broke up today, can you find me a new BF?”
I still remember the pain I felt that second. It was severe. I cried. Imagine the condition of a guy who was being asked to find a new BF by the girl whom he loves more than himself. I said nothing and hung up the phone.
Another night she called me again and told me- “I have a doubt, do you have any feelings for me?”
I felt like this was the moment and I blurted out everything- and she said let us see.
She started flirting with me, and unaccustomed to these ways, being a naïve rustic young man, I waited for that minute. But she changed drastically. She started visiting pubs for searching hot young men and never responded to my intentions.
One fateful day, she made fun of me- like ‘I am just like an in effeminate person, not manly enough, whom she cannot accept” In front of everyone. I silently walked away, and cried silently.
I never called her again and neither did she.
I would have done anything for that girl, even though I could not have been her Zac Effron. I do not look that much hot, I am just a human being who wants to be loved, cared like anyone here. I never had enough money to roam with her, or dance with her in a night club. The most precious thing I could have done to her would have been supporting her in all her problems and loving her without expecting anything.
They say love makes us blind.But how can we believe in that saying? The girl in my story was not a teenager.She was almost 23, and had seen much of the world. The way she used my naivety still hurts me. I used to help her in her studies back then, and did everything I could do.
Still I felt like a cockroach being trampled over by.
I know all women are not like this. I love my mother; she is the best woman I know. But do you think sometime, (I don’t know if it is rare or something) people are treated harshly for falling in love?
For some people the criteria for being in love is just physical attractiveness. So what about a guy who married a girl whose lovely face was marred by a fatal accident? He met his sweetheart at the hospital and said –“It’s not your beauty, it is the real you, that I fell in love with?”
So what is love? What is the difference between love and bodily attraction? Do you think true love exists? What should be the expectations when you want to make a serious relationship? Dating websites, sometimes I would feel like it is all about your photos.
Confused, seriously !!!!!!!