[AshamedTom]

I've only got a few people that I class as close friends, but how do I know if they feel the same?

It's normally me that has to visit or contact them first; is that a bit one sided?

I don't know, just want opinions.

[waiting4]

Hey Tom,

I think everyone has their own idea about what constitutes a 'close friend', just like how they independantly feel about family members and 'closeness'.

For me, a close friend is someone I can count on in a pinch, but who doesn't smother me, and whom I don't smother. My best friend lives in Virginia (I'm in Vegas) and although we don't talk often, I know she would be there for me, as I would for her, in all occasions..good or bad. I can tell her anything, and she won't judge or ridicule me...things like that. As far as taking turns with the invites, when I lived there we did...but we also didn't 'count' i.e. sometimes I would ask her to go somewhere with me more often than she, mostly based on who was available at any given time.

I have numerous 'aquaintances' that I see more frequently, but it's much more of a hit-or-miss kinda thing. It is generally understood that reciprocation of invitations is expected, but again...it's hit or miss.

I hope this helps

[hvert]

If you are always the one to initiate contact in all of your friendships, that does merit a second look, in my opinion. It could just be that you are more gregarious and form friendships with people who are a bit more withdrawn.

When I feel like my friendships are getting one sided in that way, I lay low and wait for the other person to take a turn initiating contact. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, but either way I have a better idea of how close our friendship really is