I seem to be some "unhealthy" relationships...not unhealthy as in someone means me harm...well not physical harm...maybe controlling emotional harm?....but its like I still "need" to hang onto them...I know the healthy thing too do is to let go and find out what my life really does hold in store for me...but no...I keep going back...whats it all about?....I'm afraid of something if I cut and run but I can't work out what that "something" is....or maybe I just won't allow myself to look at what that "something"maybe? anyone experienced something similar and managed to let go and move on?

[TYMBERWOLV]

I think I'm experiencing that right now -- My mind says " Let Go " my heart says " Hold on to it ""

I don't know what to say but If I had an answer I would let you know

My heart goes out to you

Tymber

[AlteredState01]

Sounds like you are just afraid of what might lie ahead.

This feeling is not just reserved for people with emotional/mental illnesses - it happens to everyone who has to deal with any big (and small) changes that will deviate them from their current "routine."

I know this is a general statement, but then again, so was your post.

If you give more details, some of us might be able to provide more details about our experiences if they closely match your current situation.

[gmoney1]

I am involved with severl men but I still miss my first who I drove crazy but even today I said I would give up the 3 for him right now which wont ever happen

[gmoney1]

We are not just body I belive that now Ous soul is what seems to hang on and we just have to work on it everyday or we will go crazy

[valexand]

I soooooooooooooooo know what you mean! I am the same way! Actually I had started to believe that I was the only person like this. This is really not a good way of being as I've discovered. I have also discovered that there is no way of changing it either, because it has to do with ones character. Here is the effect that this has had on me:
Fell madly in love with this one guy at age 18. We were together for 2 years. We matched brilliantly and the future was beautiful up ahead. One day he woke up and just decided that he didn't love me anymore. Just like that. My world was crushed. I lingered into the mess of "what happened?" for 5 full years. I ruined and crushed two other people during those 5 years who attempted to be with me because of the hurt I kept holding on to.
At the age of 26 this new person walked into my life. I felt for him things that I thought I would never feel again. I was happy again but still, even then, shadows of the past kept creeping in. With time I decided to let go and freely dive into this relationship. Once again the future was brilliant. In exactly the same way, three years later, and after being the perfect couple...he wakes up and tells me that he doesn't feel love for me anymore. Just like that. I am currently swimming in an ocean of "but what happen? what did I do wrong? how can I take things back how they used to be? why me?"
And my future now??? It will take me a good 5-6 years (just as before) to clean myself up from the memories. The worst pain is that he has moved on ALREADY and is in a new relationship. I am alone and the idea of being with somebody makes me cringe due to my hurt. I am unable to move on. Seriously! I cannot do it. And I do panic because I am 30. In 5-6 years I'll be 35. Who will care to be with me then? So there you go....unable to let go = alone.

[seeker1950]

Valex...I have this same problem....the long time of recovery....years. But you are still young. Don't fret over being in your 30's and wondering who would want you. That's really young, and a great time to meet someone with whom you can have a healthy relationship. You sound very wise in your self-knowledge of giving yourself time to recover and heal before seeking another relationship, instead of "jumping from the frying pan into the fire." At the same time, be kind to yourself. You were true. You were hurt, but it may not take so long before you are ready to meet someone again.
Love,
Patty