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#1
Mar 22, 2014, 11:49 PM
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How can i help myself with a jealousy problem i have towards my fiance when he talks to other girls at work. Hes givein me no reason to fuss about him talking to other girls. I have been so bad about being jealous to where we fuss about it and it has caused me to push him away and we can stop fighting how can we stop? And how can we bring our love back like it use to be because now its only normal and it hurts me not being the way we use to be. And how can i be a nonjealous fiance so it wont cause us to split up.
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#2
Mar 23, 2014, 02:34 AM
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Wow, you ask some good questions, and I have a few for you.
Jealousy is a terrible Bad Habit and one you Must break. What are you afraid will happen if you actually just stop it & trust him? Talking to people of the opposite sex is part of grown up life. Do you want him to control you & who you talk to? Are you saying you can't be trusted if you talk to a man? (turning the tables for a minute) Is he doing this to try to make you jealous? Some men do this because they have low self worth. If that is the case, don't buy into it. It is a manipulation of your feelings and pretty mean to do. Does he behave jealously with you? Acting out of jealousy in general is a control issue. Are you trying to control him? It is not a very mature or appealing personality trait. Don't confuse jealousy with caring, it is not. You do trust him don't you? Learning to control your jealousy will actually help you see that he is with you because he wants to be, not because you are making him. Right? You are surely a lovely and lovable young woman or you wouldn't be engaged to this man. So believe that. I would look into finding some tools to work on your self esteem, this seems to be at the root of most jealous behavior. Imagine how nice it could be to just relax into the knowledge of your shared love & respect for each other. Perhaps a bit of pre-marital counseling, for you individually and for both of you as a couple will help you learn some better ways of expressing your insecurities with each other and how to talk about being more affirming. I wish you only the very best as you learn and grown in this... 
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It only takes a moment to be kind ~ Last edited by NWgirl2013; Mar 23, 2014 at 02:50 AM. |
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