[SickOfSadness]

I moved my uncle in with me 3mo ago. He's been in the hospital 3x already to detox. He literally has no where else to go, but I honestly don't want him living with me anymore already.

He's an hour and a half from his hometown, but doesn't have anywhere to go if I get him back there. I know he needs help, but I can't help someone who doesn't want to help themself.

I know he's depressed and has issues to deal with. He has an appointment to get into counseling next week and is working on getting insurance out here.

He's just really stressing me out and I have my own issues to deal with. I am dx BP2 and am trying to work on myself as well. Ugh. I just dk what to do.

I feel guilty for having the feelings that I do. And know thay I'll feel bad kicking jim to the curb.

I told him that this is his last chance the other day and he walked to the liqueur store within minutes of our discussion and me leaving the house for an appointment. This is so frustrating.

He's okay to be around when he's not drinking, but I can't stand to be around him when he is and he just won't quit. I can understand it to a certain point (with being depressed and his situation and all), but at the same time, I told him thay this was his lasy chance and he continues to drink.

What do I do?!?!

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[hvert]

I know he needs help, but I can't help someone who doesn't want to help themself.

That line from your post really says it. That sounds like a really horrible choice to make, but please don't feel guilty if you decide to kick him out. I'm assuming that you offered him a place to live while he is recovering, not a place to stay while he is drinking himself to death. You can always tell him that he is welcome back when he is ready to quit drinking.

Good luck with whatever you do.

[Perna]

No aunt or cousins, his own siblings (a parent of yours) to help? Where is he getting his money to buy the liquor. I would tell him he cannot bring liquor into your house (where does he drink) and/or change the lock and not give him a key. It does sound like your "help" is enabling him rather than helping him see he can't keep living the way he is?

I'd take him to a local shelter and put him and his belongings on the sidewalk and drive away.

You are not responsible for him or his upkeep ... He is.

If he chooses to drink and piss it away, that's all on him.

He'll happily use you and your resources up and leave you flat broke too ...

But, only IF you allow him to.

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

[SickOfSadness]

Originally Posted by hvert

I know he needs help, but I can't help someone who doesn't want to help themself.

That line from your post really says it. That sounds like a really horrible choice to make, but please don't feel guilty if you decide to kick him out. I'm assuming that you offered him a place to live while he is recovering, not a place to stay while he is drinking himself to death. You can always tell him that he is welcome back when he is ready to quit drinking.

Good luck with whatever you do.

Exactly

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[Yoda]

Originally Posted by Pfrog

I'd take him to a local shelter and put him and his belongings on the sidewalk and drive away.

You are not responsible for him or his upkeep ... He is.

...

[SickOfSadness]

Originally Posted by Perna

No aunt or cousins, his own siblings (a parent of yours) to help? Where is he getting his money to buy the liquor. I would tell him he cannot bring liquor into your house (where does he drink) and/or change the lock and not give him a key. It does sound like your "help" is enabling him rather than helping him see he can't keep living the way he is?

No, his only sibling is my mom, who has her own issues and she is back in our hometown. My grandma passed in '07 (thats where the depression stems from, guilt). His aunt passed recently too. His step mom won't talk to him due to his drinking.

He got the money the first time from his temp job when he first got out here. He went on a 3wk binge, never went back to work, and I had to call an ambulance to get him to the hospital. In the mean time, his car got repossessed and his phone got shut off. This time he got the money b/c he pawned his DJ speakers. He said he gave me the remaining of his money, but lied. He drank for 6 days, but I got him to go to the hospital before it got too bad.

((He stays in his bedroom for days to drink. He comes out to use the bathroom and make something to eat when I'm not home))

The day after he got out out of detox the 2nd time, he called an ambulance to go to the hospital because he slipped on ice and said his neck hurt. He was intoxicated (he found a pint of vodka he stashed in his room). They ended up taking him to the emergency psych floor b/c he was being a smart a*s b/c he had a ****** nurse and said "this was so much fun, I'm going to go home and do it all ober again!". He ended up being there for 21 hrs. The only good thing that came out of that is that they got him an appointment for a counselor 3 blocks away from my house.

I told him that this was his last chance. He literally walked to the liqueur store within 15min of talking about it. I caught him and he took it back. He got more when I went to work though.

I know he needs MH help for depression and he has his first appointment this week. But his first appointment isn't going to magically make him stop drinking. I worry that if I do take him to a shelter or something he won't be able to get to his counseling to get to the core of his problem. He probably won't be able to get the things done that he needs to....

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[healingme4me]

Your intentions are good. Of course he needs to get to the core of himself, but perhaps he's content being this way?

What's your timeline, internally, where you'll know enough is enough? Living like this can't go on forever. What about you? Your life?

Can't have a life, caretaking an alcoholic. Already, it's creating strong confusion.

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[hvert]

The really hard thing is that there is nothing you can do to make people quit or seek treatment. Even if he's living with you, you can't make sure he gets help, goes to counseling, or that any of it 'takes.'

You are in such a no-win situation, I'm sorry. A friend of mine has her adult alcoholic junkie son living with her. He won't get help, she feels like she can't kick out her own kid. Part of her hopes he winds up in jail for a few years to sober up. That may be the best thing for him, who knows?