Friend wants to bring 6 year old to our bar date?

I made plans a month ago with a friend to see live music at a jazz club next week. She just let me know that she has to babysit her grandchild that night, but is happy to bring the kid along. She thinks the kid will enjoy the music. She could be right.

It was extremely difficult to schedule this get together in the first place. An hour after we made the plans, I learned about a workshop I would have preferred to attend, but I did not cancel.

I have been actively seeing much less of this friend due to increasingly narcissistic behavior on her part. I finally found something she would agree to do that wasn't a set up for me listening to a monologue, and now she introduces this.

Ranting here more than anything else. I am going to cancel and hope she doesn't contact me again for a few months. I hope I remember this the next time I am inspired to spend a lot of time looking for something she'll agree to do.

Oh wow....I'm happy you are canceling and not being a part of her bringing the child to the bar for the live concert. Its just no place for a child, with people being drunk and the overly loud music as well. You are making a good choice here in doing your part to protect this child. Be proud of that.
It sounds like this is not a really good friend for you, either. I'm happy you are putting distance between yourself from her as well. You are protecting yourself, which is healthy.

Now that's just plain ridiculous, bringing a child to an event like that! Yup, I'd cancel too! You MAY be stuck with your relatives, but you can damn sure CHOOSE your friends. I'd say let HER make the arrangements next time(to your liking, of course!).

How annoying! I don't blame you for cancelling! I hate it when my best friends brings her kids to lunch dates, the thing with it is, her attention is on the kid so she has little time to really talk and catch up which is why we meet in the first place! I hardly see her now she has kids, and she insists on bringing them every time we meet up!

Oh, I am so glad you all responded! I felt like I was being a child hater. It just seems so inappropriate to drag a child that age to a bar-- on a school night! She says they're going to go even if I don't.

Plus, if I ever mention wanting to bring a friend along, she will tell me no or cancel, so I'm not sure why she thinks it should work any differently for her.

A bar is no place for a child. Even if it is for a live concert. I am glad you are cancelling, perhaps talk to your friend about how you feel. Perhaps you both can make other arrangements for a get - together.

Correct...a 'true bar' rather than a restaurant that happens to have a bar, is no place for a child and as far as I know, it is illegal to bring anyone into a bar that isn't 21 years old. Just saying.

Nuliaja, I don't think I want to spend time with this friend anymore. There is a long history here. For the past year I've been telling myself 'that's the last straw,' and then giving her one more chance.

Listening to monologues does get real old. I've been there. People like that don't change, either. It doesn't sound like much of an evening out for you, with a 6 year old sitting there. The kid is not going to enjoy just sitting there and listening. Canceling might well be your best bet. Maybe you can go to that workshop instead.

If she asks why you are canceling, you don't have to tell her the truth. Or you can go right ahead and do that. You don't have to get all mad. You can just say that you think it would be better to go another time when she doesn't have another obligation at the same time.

I canceled. I just said I'd rather do it some other night. She didn't ask why and told me that she planned on going anyway, with the child. All via email, so no anger expressed on either side.

I'm still flabbergasted that someone could be so clueless -- why didn't she just cancel? Or not agree to babysit when she had other plans?

I am not sure why I keep going back to this friend or wasting as much energy as I do on how to deal with her.