People can be too nice

I feel like people are too nice. Like when I talk to people, I can usually tell if they want me to leave by their facial expressions and body language. And I hate it when peopel invite me to do something but I can tell by the way they are acting or by the tone of their voice they are only doing it out of politeness or pity or even obligation. It's like, if you don't want me around, don't invite me then. And it drives me crzy the most when someone hates it when other people are not completely honest but they are not honest themselves. Also don't understand why when someone is mad, they tell everyone except the person they are mad at. I know a couple people like that, they go around telling everyone else who they are mad at except the person who they are actually mad at. Doubt they are real friends since when one of them is mad at the other, they talk crap behind their backs, and I mean really rude stuff. That's why I always worry if they are doing it to me. Just annoys me when people fake friendships with me when they don't really like me. Makes me feel lonely and depressed and wish people only befriended me because it is genuine, not obligation, pity, or politeness.

My therapist would never comment on my body language because she said it was way too hard to read, that just conversing with someone and using words was hard enough without going non-verbal. I think you could be misreading people; you can't really know what is behind their looks, what they are thinking and feeling -- it can be like Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol" where he decides the ghost of Marley is a bit of undigested beef? Someone happening to make a "pained" expression when talking to you, that expression may have nothing to do with you at all.

You may be right about that in some situations, but in other situations I can tell since they may even say they are going to get up and do something but then I see that they never even did it. Like, yesterday I was at a social event, and I was just mingling and decided to talk to someone for a minute. After a minute, they said they saw someone they wanted to talk to and even pointed to a specific person, then ran off, but didn't go to the person they pointed to. Saw them later on just mingling with a totally different group of people. Not that it is a problem, it just makes it seem in those situations people are just being too nice so they make stuff up in order to leave and I feel like it happens a lot.

I can usually tell something is 'off' with peoples behavior, but Im generally a trusting person, so I usually ignore the signs being presented and give people the benefit of the doubt. I usually end up hurt this way, however because I end up not being able to handle the deception well at all. I hate that I am initially so trusting in people. I end up either going off the deep end or recalling that, yeah....I remember his look that briefly flashed across his face long after it occurred, although I could instantly see something wasn't right to begin with. I usually brush things off and end up being a sitting duck. My whole life has been this way.II'm not sure why. I suppose I am a romantic in the hopes that people are honest and not deceptive, but I think it is the nature of the species at this point. I don't usually fight back if there is no reason, but if there is a reason, I can fight back either passively or I can explode. I hate this about me. I never know how to effectively defend against things like this. I hate that I was born a human.

Don't worry, I feel the same way. I used to not be able to read body language and facial expressions, but now I can.

I guess that a lot of people's bizarre social behavior can be attributed to the way that they were raised and how they're expected to react in social situations. Unfortunately, a lot of people tend to be hypocrites. It's OK for them to lie about things and justify it by saying they're just being polite, or trying to avoid any unpleasantness, or a potential fight, but when you react in the same way, you can be judged by them unfairly, ugh!

It's called social "graces" which is ironic since it seems more anti-social and rude in nature than anything else. One time a former friend told me that this friend of hers invited her to Thanksgiving dinner knowing that she was alone and had nowhere else to go. So of course my friend said yes. The woman who invited my friend then had this angry and surprised look on her face. WTH? LOL! I guess that she didn't anticipate a yes answer! I hate it when people fake being polite too. It's really stupid and the truth comes out sooner or later when they say they'll call or email you and then they never ever do. I hate people like that I no longer waste my time on liars like that who can't be honest. If you don't like someone, just ignore them and don't say stuff that you don't mean.

You hit the nail right on the head bud. I totally agree with you, it's like, I smell the strong aroma of hypocracy in the air. Literally speaking, I actually don't have a sence of smell, but metephorically, I do have a bs detector and I can detect most bs a mile away or even more. It is so annoying and wish people would be honest. And yes, I'm starting to distance myself from others too. Wow, that one friend who gave an angry look was rude, like, if you don't want someone around, then don't invite them. So simple yet people don't know how to be honest. Kind of sad in my opinion.