[journey]

Yesterday I just had to ask my husband a question. "Do you think addicts have a disease or a character flaw?" After a blank stare and an "I dunno"...he finally admitted that maybe addicts have a disease that they cannot control. Of course, he wanted to know why I had asked. Prior to me asking, we had just engaged in yet another verbal war over a comment I made off the top of my head that he took offense to. I explained to him that the reason I asked was this: first, bipolar and anxiety are diseases, not character flaws. Second, my husband is an addict- indulging in alcohol and pot on a regular basis. He expects ME to understand that he has no control over his addictions, so I should take him for what he is. Which I do...I accept him regardless. I tried to explain that since I accept him for what he is, he should return the favor and accept my illnessess too. It really hurts me that our relationship, after 11 years, has become so volatile, and that he cannot see that my bipolar/anxiety is not something I choose. He thinks my outbursts, my periods of depression, and my insecurities are something I choose because I want to "show my ***". Could you guys comment on how your mental illness has affected your relationships please? I really feel so alone in this... Thanks.

~May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness; this is immeasurable loving kindness~

[Zenobia]

My husband and I got into an argument this weekend about intimacy. I have not been able to have sex in a long time. The last time we did I had a violent rage attack the next day. Needless to say I would prefer to wait until I get a little farther along in my therapy.

So he ignores me through a whole day and the next day claims it is intimacy issues. This made me so angry because there are more ways to be intimate then just sex. When I go to kiss him he turns his face, when I go to hug him he stands stiff, when I go to touch him he walks out of the room. So, I pointed this out and said he has as much intimacy problems as I do. He sarcastically denied it. Of course we all know that I am the sick one, the one with a diagnosed mental illness, so he finds it very conveinent to lay all of our problems off on me so he does not have to take the uncomfortable responisiblity for the part he plays in our relationship.

I hear what you are saying and commiserate with you,
Zen<font color=blue>

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Did You Know:
In a case where a stroke patient has lost use of an arm the brain can be retrained to make use of the paralyzed arm simply by restraining the useable limb.