[AllTrustLost]

My Husband and I have been together for 13 years and married for 8, He is 13 years younger than me and we got together right after me coming out of a horrible 11 year marriage to a faithful cheater and a internet porn addict. The first year was great but I had severe trust issues rolling over from the previous relationship for many years. I put him through hell with the distrust and constant accusing that he was cheating on me He swore to me that he would never do that and my issues decreased to almost not issues. He had a job where he worked out of town so we only saw eachother on weekends for about 6 years of our 8 year marriage and as time went by we grew apart and I was tried of beong a weekend wife and tired of being put off when he was home because that Silver can with the pretty Blue mountains was more important than us being together. I had thoughts of ending it but thought no your not a quitter and decided to stick things out hoping that he would come home to work and the drinking would stop. Well right before Thanksgiving my wish came true he had decided to stop drinking and got a job closer to home. It was hard having him back because we had grown so far apart over the years and really couldn't speak to each other with out a fight starting. But as the weeks went by I thought things were getting better. Then the day after Christmas I had to take a trip out of town only to come back and he was gone, And to find out he had been on one of those dating web sites and had been talking to this girl for the whole month of December. So he moved in with her wouldn't talk to me about what happened or what we were going to do Divorce or what. So about the beginning of March he sends me a text telling me I'm sorry can we talk, We talk the following day and just like that I take him back. I have been miserable ever since and I don't know what I should do? I have no feeling when he touches me or kisses me I don't trust him but then again I don't really care what he does ,and i have told him that im not in love in him anymore, He says I will make you fall in love with me again! Do I wait for him to do that? How long do I wait? Or should I just end it now?

[Rose3]

In your explanation - you've mentioned that you and he couldn't speak to each other without a fight starting. What's all this fighting about? Drinking? Then he's gone (been on a dating site). Yet - 13 years together. Is that 13 years of accusations? He apologizes. You quickly take him back - now feeling miserable. Are there some other options? Would it be an idea for the two of you to go to a couples counsellor?

[AllTrustLost]

The fighting was about anything and everything, If I said he lets go do something together he would say that I was selfish and being a B****, And the accusations stopped about 7 years ago. And yes I feel that I took him back to quick and now I am wishing that I hadn't. Have put up a Hugh wall that I am afraid of the same thing happening again in a few years. Just from the past experience with a cheater. Once a cheater always a cheater.