[utterlyconfused]

Yesterday I talked to my boyfriend. I told him that basically I am not in any position to be in a relationship. I need to get through some stuff, and I need to focus on my relationship with God. I mean.. I've consistently been in a relationship since I was in 6th grade. I'm about to graduate high school now. There are a lot of changes that happen to a girl and the way her mind operates from ages 10 to 18.

I just wanted to be free.. you know? I loved my boyfriend, don't get me wrong, but we weren't in a lasting relationship. Granted we were together for 2 years, I just wasn't happy and I wasn't getting anything from the relationship. I honestly think I stuck around so long because his family was like my second family.

Today I have been in a really depressed mood. I don't know what to do or how to feel about it, but I knew it was one of those things that just had to be done. To top it off I have my first appointment with a nutritionist tomorrow for my ed and I'm really nervous about that. Plus, my anti depressants aren't really working out that great right now.

I don't know what I'm trying to say other than this sucks, but I had to get out of a relationship that was like a rut. Today has been really hard too because this is really triggering my si and I'm not hungry at all.

[kaliope]

it sounds like you have a lot going on in your life. I think it was a healthy decision to end your relationship if you weren't getting anything out of it and you were unhappy. everybody needs to learn who they are independently, how to take care of themselves outside a relationship. it sounds like you need to take time to focus on you and get healthy. take care.