[prism2b2]

Hello,

I'm new and just posted an intro. This is the reason I've found this forum. I apologize for the length of my story.

11 years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder. I was in and out of hospitals for a few years and lost custody and visitation with my children to my first husband because of it. I had been emotionally abused by him for 7 years and left him because of his abusive behavior towards my children. My illness appeared about a year after leaving him. My family knows that he is abusive and losing contact with my children has been extremely painful for us all.

6 years ago when I woke up sane in the hospital (for the 3rd time) I realized my mental health had to become a priority or I would never see my kids or have a life. At that point it was impossible to deny it had been the stress of abuse then losing my kids kept my mental illness active. So I went to my doctor and asked to work on finding the correct meds and also how to manage my stress.

Since then I've been very lucky and have been symptom free as well as returning to college and getting certified in something I love doing.

During these years my sister has been my closest confidant. Last year she got upset at me out of the blue and we were estranged until I sent her a letter of apology. Recently she did the same thing. We regularly speak for an average of an hour at a time about both of our issues and family stuff. I just found out that she has been telling others in my family that I only care and talk about my problems and don't care about hers. This is not true at all. I have listened to her talk about her problems for hours. And I've never resented it.

We come from a dysfunctional family. My parents were alcoholics when we were young. My sister has always had a little bit of a mean streak as well as being jealous of others. I'm starting to wonder if she doesn't have some borderline personality disorder due to the abuse we experienced as children.

I on the other hand have had years of therapy to work through all of the issues I've had. I would never slander her to others.

Anyway this is extremely upsetting. She was my closest confidant and now my words have been twisted into something negative. Plus, I don't know if other family members believe this fabrication of hers.

I feel as if she is twisting the trauma I did experience into something negative to get herself more pity or attention for her own problems.

At this point she is telling people that she needs time away from me. I'm concerned that her behavior can make me sick again and wonder if I shouldn't just give her all the time in the world and end our relationship.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by prism2b2

Hello,

I'm new and just posted an intro. This is the reason I've found this forum. I apologize for the length of my story.

11 years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder. I was in and out of hospitals for a few years and lost custody and visitation with my children to my first husband because of it. I had been emotionally abused by him for 7 years and left him because of his abusive behavior towards my children. My illness appeared about a year after leaving him. My family knows that he is abusive and losing contact with my children has been extremely painful for us all.

6 years ago when I woke up sane in the hospital (for the 3rd time) I realized my mental health had to become a priority or I would never see my kids or have a life. At that point it was impossible to deny it had been the stress of abuse then losing my kids kept my mental illness active. So I went to my doctor and asked to work on finding the correct meds and also how to manage my stress.

Since then I've been very lucky and have been symptom free as well as returning to college and getting certified in something I love doing.

During these years my sister has been my closest confidant. Last year she got upset at me out of the blue and we were estranged until I sent her a letter of apology. Recently she did the same thing. We regularly speak for an average of an hour at a time about both of our issues and family stuff. I just found out that she has been telling others in my family that I only care and talk about my problems and don't care about hers. This is not true at all. I have listened to her talk about her problems for hours. And I've never resented it.

We come from a dysfunctional family. My parents were alcoholics when we were young. My sister has always had a little bit of a mean streak as well as being jealous of others. I'm starting to wonder if she doesn't have some borderline personality disorder due to the abuse we experienced as children.

I on the other hand have had years of therapy to work through all of the issues I've had. I would never slander her to others.

Anyway this is extremely upsetting. She was my closest confidant and now my words have been twisted into something negative. Plus, I don't know if other family members believe this fabrication of hers.

I feel as if she is twisting the trauma I did experience into something negative to get herself more pity or attention for her own problems.

At this point she is telling people that she needs time away from me. I'm concerned that her behavior can make me sick again and wonder if I shouldn't just give her all the time in the world and end our relationship.

unfortunately you may need to, it sounds like your sister is going to be a hella trigger, you have to do what is best to keep yourself ok . in re hab one of the things they used to always stress was "people,places and things" unfortunately your sister falls into the "people" category and you may need to give it some space for a while, if she does have BPD i can tell you we can be extremely difficult to deal with at times, we don't mean to be..but it just happens like that. I feel really bad when i "lose it" but sometimes the emotions just take over, like a drug and there is little i can do to fight it at times & sometimes i get so upset i just don't want to try and fight it.

wait and see if she comes around, get back on good terms if you can and see if you can get her some help, you can't just spring it on her though..you have to wait until a good day,on a bad day it will get ugly really quick..hope this helps!!

[hvert]

I'm really sorry to hear that. It's always hard to find out that someone we trusted has betrayed your trust. I think you are probably right that your sister has some sort of problems she hasn't worked through.

Taking time off from her sounds like a good idea. I would have a wait and see approach to cutting her off entirely. Maybe in a while you'll be able to communicate with her again and convince her to seek professional help.

If I understand correctly, the lie she is telling about you is that you go on and on about your own problems and don't listen to hers? If so, other people are probably not going to pay any attention to that. It sounds more whiny on her part than anything else.

[prism2b2]

Thanks so much both of you. I was afraid this issue was too long and convoluted.

My sister's complaints of me have definitely pushed a button. I've worked very hard to not make my mental illness my identity. And part of that is both being and building up a reputation as a stable person. I feel like she has been going behind my back and ruining any chance I have of being seen as "normal" again. Not only that but I thought she was the person I could trust most.

I am going to distance myself for a significant period of time. Over time maybe I will better be able to see things from her side. At this point I do not see how I can trust her.

While I wish this problem didn't lead me here. I'm glad I found this place. Thanks for the advice.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by prism2b2

Thanks so much both of you. I was afraid this issue was too long and convoluted.

My sister's complaints of me have definitely pushed a button. I've worked very hard to not make my mental illness my identity. And part of that is both being and building up a reputation as a stable person. I feel like she has been going behind my back and ruining any chance I have of being seen as "normal" again. Not only that but I thought she was the person I could trust most.

I am going to distance myself for a significant period of time. Over time maybe I will better be able to see things from her side. At this point I do not see how I can trust her.

While I wish this problem didn't lead me here. I'm glad I found this place. Thanks for the advice.

glad i could help! i hope things work out for you!

[brainhi]

You know you have to take care of you first. You can love someone very much but sometimes we need to take a break - that does not mean you do not love her. Maybe there will come an opportunity to express this to her. I'm sure other family members see things "as they really are". So glad things are getting better and better for you.