[kcktxx]

I'm in such a terrible state of despair. My first husband died when I was 28 yrs old. I was pregnant with our 3rd child. After almost a year I met a wonderful man and fell so deeply in love. He worked out of town and I only saw him every other weekend. We dated 11 1/2 yrs before we got married (this was not ok with me). He continued working out of town being moved around every 3 or 4 yrs. Somehow I got it in my head that after the kids left home I would be with him. This didn't happen. In the 30 yrs we've known each other he has lived at home 6 yrs. We live in his very tiny hometown. He has his high school and college buddies here. I've tried so very hard to involve myself in the town activities and church to no avail. My friend lives out of town. I've tried so hard to get through to him how lonely I am. To make matters worse on the weekends he has his own agenda, things he HAS to take care of. I've tried to be invoved with his activities like hunting, his suggestion was that he would drop me off and when I was finished he would pick me up. Defeat, Defeat, Defeated. I'm supposed to meet with a counselor this week. He likes the idea as he thinks I need medication.

you don't need medication and he should be smacked upside the head for thinking that. He needs to be there or not be there... but make a choice. If he wants to be with you then he needs to fully commit. After 30 yrs I'm no tsure why you still put up with his absenteeism

[Trippin2.0]

I had no idea being a part time spouse was an option.

Medication won't make your husband spend time with you. You need him, not meds.

Like S4, I'm not sure why you've put up with an absent partner for so long either, I mean WHAT exactly are you even getting out of this relationship?

I know quite a few hubbies that work out of town, but the first thing they do when they get home is spend time with their wives and children. Hobbies they try to squeeze in here and there because its not a priority.

Again, medication is not gonna fix your relationship, I strongly suggest you sit down and talk to your husband about all of this and see if you 2 can find a solution. State your needs and expectations and discuss how to meet them and so forth. If you've tried this and failed, well then I suggest you both go see someone, because clearly there's not much of a marriage when 1 person is never present. And no med in the world is able to cure that.