[hotchicken]

I always feel like the I hate the people that are around me most and secretly have to pretend I like them but I don't.

I hate my 70 year old parents and wish they would die. My older teen I don't like. I don't even want to be near her.

I have a few close friends that I never really liked. I also hated my husband and never wanted to marry him.

People I work with I mostly like. But as I drive down the street, I see other cars as enemies out to get me. The friends I do have lie to me. My husband treated me like crap.

I want a whole new life.

[Rose3]

You sound unhappy and discontented, yet wanting "a whole new life" - so sounds like there are some things that you would like changed.
If you could experience some changes - what might some of them be?
When you're noticing that you feel negative about various people - is it helpful to consider the reasons for this? And then if it is quite unpleasant to be around them, then try to allow some distance from them, so that you can feel happier in a changed environment or atmosphere. Find those places and people where you feel more comfortable.

[Rapunzel]

You are really the only person who can answer why. Is there something in particular that you are angry about? When there are so many people you feel hatred for, it seems most likely that it really isn't them, but something that is going on within you. Maybe it isn't even them that you hate, but rather yourself? Do you hate yourself? Or rather, do you love yourself? If you aren't able to feel love for yourself, you can't really love anybody.

Do you have a therapist? With the intensity of negative emotions that you seem to have, I wonder what trauma you have been through and what else might be at the bottom of it. You can get some support here, but if you want to create a better life for yourself, it would really help to have an organized plan working with a therapist to really figure out what you want and how to get there. It won't be easy, but the way that you are living isn't easy either.

[healingme4me]

((((hotchicken))))

It's hard to find good in others, when surrounded by others who aren't genuine.

My PDoc, once leaned in, over his desk, and said 'People Lie.' I was tearing up, no shed tears, telling him an online friend said he didn't want to come to Boston, to meet me.

Statement stays with me, it's truth.



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